


Beginnings to Endings

by Aileuromania



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:16:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1537199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aileuromania/pseuds/Aileuromania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All love stories, be they great or lesser, have to start somewhere. The journey of Kaikavus the Shaman and Aninae the Death Knight began before her death, when she was just a simple priest trying to do her best for the orphans of Shattrath City.</p>
<p>Also, never let a pile of kids loose on a mildly injured person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling

It wasn't often he often found himself in this part of Shattrath, but Kaikavus tried to make time at least once a month to come and visit. More often, if his journeys brought him back here. He came to visit with the orphans, taking one - if not more - out to see the world a bit, as he remembered what it was like to be small and alone.

"Kaikavus, mon!" The orphan matron was an older troll woman, her white hair streaming behind her in a complicated braid. She smiled tuskily at the broad draenei as he reached out a hand to grasp her forearm in a smiling greeting.

"Mercy, my friend!" Releasing her, he looked around the entryway with a certain fondness. "The orphanage is looking good. I see that crack has been sealed finally." He ran a thick finger along a high crack in the wall, the mortar a different colour to the rest of the stucco.

She shrugged fluidly. "Ch'yeah." she agreed. "But it still be gettin' cold in here at night, mon."

"I'll have a word with the fire spirits." he promised. "Let's see if we can keep the embers burning longer at night."

"I'd be grateful to ya."

"So, where are all the children?" He looked around curiously, knowing that at this time of day there were usually at least two or three of the little ones tearing their ways through the place.

"Ah, dey all be at de Infirmary wit' Nicole an de new girl teachin' first aid, ch'ya know?"

"First aid?" He chuckled, thinking of the attention spans of the ones who usually accompanied him on his outings, and looked ceilingward. "I don't envy them at all!

"Oh well, I was thinking I'd take a few of them to go see A'dal today, but as they're not here, is there anything I can do to help out?"

The troll put a finger to her face, running the tip along one curved tusk in thought.

"Well, dere be de pile o' rubble ya can be movin' for us." She poked a bare toe at a large pile of crumbled masonry that had been partially hidden by a table. "It's been here for ages, but we jus' don't get to movin' it."

"Consider it done." he said with a smile, pushing his sleeves up and grasping a lump of the rock, rocking it back and forth to gauge its weight. "Do you want it on the midden?"

She nodded. "Dat be good, mon." Patting his armour clad shoulder, she gestured with her chin toward the main room. "I jus' be makin' and' changin' de beds if ya need me."

"Alright." With a wry smile and a muscular wrench of his arms, he set to his task.

It was hard and sweaty work, some of the pieces more like boulders. However, he worked with dedication and verve, only pausing to remove the armour which covered his torso and to mop his brow from time to time.

It was a fair distance to the midden, with uneven cracks in in the ground. It was perhaps only a matter of time before there was an accident. He had been moving as carefully as he could, but perhaps it was a lack of focus as he felt the relief in his muscles after having dropped off another heavy stone. Perhaps his hoof caught an uneven piece of ground and his weary body didn't react fast enough to catch himself, but before he knew it he was sprawled across the ground, dirt and pebbles being ground into his sweat soaked shirt.

"Agh!" he cried as he rolled his jarred body over to sit up and survey his injuries.

All in all, it wasn't too bad - a couple of grazes on his palms, probably a few bruises across his chest and a sore spot along his chin where he'd wrenched his tentacles.

The worst injury of all was the rather nasty gash opened down his left shin, he realised when he gingerly raised his mail kilt to identify the source of that sting, blue ichor oozing between the pieces of embedded dirt to run down towards his hoof.

It hurt, but it would only take a lesser healing spell to make whole again, feeling more foolish it'd happened at all than pained by his injuries.

He put his stinging hand down to clamber upright again so he might attend to this, when he heard the sound of small voices.

"Oh no! Kaikavus! Kaikavus!"

So many voices, so many variations of the same thing.

"What happened, Kaik?" "Are you alright, Kaik?" "Kaikavus!"

"No, no... I'm alright, little ones!" he soothed, chuckling in gentle amusement as he was enveloped by a number of children and their enthusiastic care. "I'm alright..."

"We can fix you!" It was almost inevitable, he supposed, given the nature of their lessons for the day. But before he knew it, the children had descended upon him with all the enthusiasm of locusts, linen bandages being wielded with the care of a battlemace.

The kids were everywhere, winding, poking, tying, scraping. In some ways, it probably hurt more with them 'caring' for him than without, but they were so concerned, so funny in their activity, he bit his lip and tried not to laugh. He did let out the occasional yelp of surprise or pain though, which of course spurred the children into further exhortations of "care".

It was after one particularly tight pass of a bandage around his thick shin that he became aware of it, the sudden relief of a healing spell. It was the kind of spell which healed in small increments over a long period of time, and he realised this was to give the children time to finish their work as well as to give him ease from this madness, sparing their feelings and helping him at the same time.

Curiously he raised his head from where one little tyke was attempting to bind his jaw shut, looking around for the source of this unexpected aid.

At the back of the crowd, he saw a blur of movement - the flicker of a pale coloured robe. The children closest to his face moved away for a moment, and he saw a tall human female, and his breath caught in his throat.

She was soft and curvy - too curvy for the current fashion, but with so many interesting things going on in that demure neck-to-floor dress of hers, he couldn't help but look.

She was smiling as he caught her eye, her face lit with high amusement as she gently guided the primal force of this mini medical corps. When she quickly winked at him, her lips quirking with repressed laughter, he felt his heart give a jolt.

But he lost sight of her as he was swamped by helpers again, and he had no choice but to give himself over to the ministrations of the over eager first aiders.

When they were finally done, it was almost as though one of the ethereal mummies had come to visit; only this one much more burly than the usual svelte form they took. He solemnly got to his feet, thanking the little ones with a solemn bow of respect, smiling at them as best he could through the bandages that wrapped his face, but he didn't stop casting his eyes around the area, hoping to catch another glimpse of the woman, but she was nowhere to be seen.

The children all started to drift away now as children do, though he did feel small fingers pushing into his hands as a couple of the more friendly little girls took his hands, chattering away with inanities and cheery talk as they slowly made their ways back to the orphanage. He had to keep himself from asking them who their attendant was – that just wouldn't be appropriate, not with children.

However when he finally made it back to the orphanage, quite cognisant of the eyes on his bandages, he felt no such compunction about approaching Mercy. It just took the right opportunity.

The troll was laughing at him as he approached, shaking her head so hard her plait bobbled back and forth across her back.

“Mon, ye be lookin like de ethereals. What happen to ya?” Gently she shooed the little ones holding Kaikavus' bandaged hands into the orphanage and continued to look at him with high amusement.

He couldn't help but laugh. He knew he looked ridiculous, but the children had meant well and he hadn't been able to disappoint them.

“I tripped on my way back here and was rescued from a certain death by the newly trained first aiders under your care.” he said with a straight face, plucking at the bandages on his face which restricted his jaw movement to the barest minimum.

“Here mon.” and the older troll stepped forward to help unwind some of the bandages from the draenei's restricted face. “I t'ink ya be right to take dem off now.” Her lips were still quirking with repressed laughter as she reached up and began unwinding. Gratefully the tall man bent, allowing the reams of cloth to be unravelled from around himself.

“Thank the Naaru!” He couldn't help but breathe the words in a sigh of relief as his face came free, and eagerly began working at his hands.

“I can tell ya dis much – dey did a good job on ya. I can't be seein' any injury on ya at all.” the troll laughed, reefing a swathe of bandage off his chest.

“Well, the healing spell one of the women with them cast certainly helped that.” He tried to contain the eagerness in his voice to a bare minimum, but the troll looked at him penetratingly. “I didn't catch her name.”

His face coloured as she noted, “Interested, are ya?” Then she laughed. “Good on ya, I say. She just be startin' here a week or so ago. Good wit' de kids an' all. Dey like her.” And she slapped a three fingered hand against his muscular forearm. “Her name be Aninae Eastmon, but she not be here now. Got some family business to attend to or somet'in. She were just stayin long enough ta get de kids back safe an sound before she left.” And she cackled. “She be back de next time ya come along, trust me. From de way she were talkin', she ain't leaving here a while after dis.

“Now," And she removed the final bandage with a flourish. "Come in an come talk wit' de fire spirits for me before ya go.”

“Of course.” He smiled, though his mind was quite firmly elsewhere. _Aninae, hmm?_


	2. Finding the Centre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a gruelling slog through Zul'Aman, a draenei shaman returns to Shattrath City to see if the first impressions bore out.

It was quite a few weeks before Kaikavus was able to return to the orphanage despite his best intentions. The Order of Exiles had assigned him to the primary team assaulting the troll city of Zul'Aman, and the execution of this mission kept him far from any social activity.

It always took some time to wind down from such things, even to one who was accustomed to such a lifestyle. While it was a relief to return home, for a time it was difficult to spend time with anyone who had not experienced what he had, done the things he had done, and it was always quite a task to wash the blood from one's soul. Meditation helped, but mostly it was time and distance that wore away the gore.

However he was even more eager to return to the orphanage than he normally would have been. He enjoyed the company of the young ones, finding their chatter endlessly amusing, but it had been the woman who had been on his mind. He knew little more than a name and a brief, fondly grasped memory of long wavy hair and a sweet countenance, but he couldn't deny his attraction to her. Even as the band of adventurers camped at night after their attempts to breach the troll city's defences, he smiled as he remembered that amused smile, the glimmer in her soft eyes, and knew he wanted to know more.

And so he flew into Shattrath now with a lighter heart, his faithful hippogriff bearing his craning around with avian equanimity as he flew to the doorway he sought. A few of the orphans waved as he approached, their little faces lighting as they saw him, running off into the depths of the building – presumably to tell their friends that he was on the way – and he laughed now, shaking his head as he landed. With a thank you he sent the animal off to its roost, and turned to the doorway where the Orphan Matron was, as usual, on watch over her playing charges.

“Ya be later den I thought ya'd be, mon.” she chuckled as she smiled at him, reaching her hands out to accept his friendly grasp. “De kids be missin' ya.”  


“There were things I had to do, Mercy.” he said by way of apology, releasing the woman's forearms now and removing his helmet, allowing the wind to flow through his blue hair. “But I'm here now.”

The only race that can do a shrewd look better than a troll is arguably a goblin, and she showed this now as she narrowed her red eyes, looking from side to side as she leaned into him.

“She not be here at de moment.” she confided now, prompting the draenei to shift uncomfortably. “She be out wit de kids playing some game or another. She be back soon – it be dinner for dem all anyway. But while ya be here, ya can come in an' help me put up some of de new donations if ya like.”

“Oh? What was given to you?” It was a bit of a blow, but he was well aware that he had built this up in his own mind, and there was always the orphanage itself to help out.

“A couple of old canopies for beds, mon. We thought dey be better fer de bug months for de little ones den the ones we had before. Make de place look rich, ch'yeah?” And she cackled, pulling the larger man into the room behind her where he saw a number of the canopies had already been attached to the bed bases the children shared. From one side of the room, Nicole – the other regular attendant - waved from her precarious position balanced on the edge of the bed as she propped up the pole, and Kaikavus immediately hurried to help her.

“Dat be de way, mon.” Mercy approved, nodding. “I just be out lookin' after de little ones. An' you...!” She motioned to the giggling children who were gathered in the corner playing. “I tol' ya not to be in here while dere be work goin' on! Out!”

Amidst childish grumbling the Orphan Matron headed back outside, with only one look back.

“I send her in here when she get back, ch'yeah?” And she laughed again, sashaying out while Kaikavus burned beneath Nicole's curious gaze.

* * * * *

He wasn't handy by any means; his talents had always leant themselves more towards the closework of leatherworking or the delicacies of herbalism, but he was quite happy to be doing something with his hands again that didn't entail calling on the elemental forces to hurt or heal. It was a peace to be found within the body, and he did enjoy it, especially when the little ones came in and chattered to him while he worked. He had to apologise on their behalves several times to Mercy, calling out that he liked their company and didn't mind their constant talk. He even pressed them into service several times, getting them to fetch tools or hold a plank while he pushed it into place. They seemed to enjoy being participants in the renovation of their own sleeping quarters, and there were many smiles around.

So it came as something of a surprise when he heard the adult female voice behind him, her tone holding a rich hint of amusement.

“I'm glad to see you're feeling better.”

He turned slowly, knowing that it wasn't Nicole – who was currently placing a canopy over one of the newly assembled frames – nor Mercy, whose thick trollish accent was quite distinctive. That left only one known candidate, and he steeled himself against disappointment.

She was tall for a human, almost coming up to Mercy's eye level, he noted almost dispassionately as he slotted the plank into place and stepped down to properly greet them. However, he certainly wasn't disappointed in what he saw. Now that he could actually take the time to notice details, he could take in the waves in her long chestnut hair, the softness of her features, and all those lovely, lovely curves.

He bowed quickly, smiling both in greeting and in pleasure with what he saw.

“I have a lot to thank the trainers of my rescuers for.” he chuckled as Mercy pushed forward, indicating the pair of them with her large three fingered hands.

“Aninae Eastmon, dis be Kaikavus. He comes along ta help us out from time to time. I guess ya can be sayin' he had yer job before ya had it yaself!”

“Anina, please.” Her voice was a lower pitch than he was accustomed to with humans, almost draenic in its tone, with an hypnotic quality to her accent. She moved with a certain grace as she extended a hand towards him, even though she was a larger girl. “But it's good to meet you, and see you properly without all those bandages!'

She grasped his hand with a good firm grip, looking him in the eye with a quirk to her mouth.

“It's good to meet you as well.” he replied.

“Now, Aninae, I need ya to be goin' to de market – why don'cha take dis pile o'muscles here wit'cha...” Kaikavus winced as he found his ample bicep being slapped by the older troll. “...an' get me dem t'ings we were talkin' about. He can carry dem for ya! But be back in half an hour – I want dem apples for dessert!”

The red eyed troll met Kaikavus' gaze levelly for a moment before flapping her hands at them, all but pushing them out towards the outside light.

“I hope you don't mind.” Anina's melodic voice was full of contrition as the troll disappeared back into the building, turning her back on the human and draenei quite pointedly. 

“She's got a good heart, but she's really pushy sometimes.”

“Don't give it another thought!” he chuckled, looking down on the smaller woman with a soft smile. “Mercy's been bullying me into many things since I first started helping at the orphanage. And it's good to be able to return a favour.”

“Well, I do appreciate it.” She looked down, a little of her hair falling across her pale face as she stepped down on to the cracked path. “I'll try not to keep you too long.” She strode out across the city with purpose, Kaikavus following in her wake.

“Don't worry about that. It makes a nice change from what I've been doing lately. And I always like to help the orphans when I can.”

“Were you...?” She stopped the question abruptly, shaking her head with a small frown. He'd heard it before; after all, it was a common story amongst his people, to have been orphaned. So he smiled to set her at ease, spreading his hands easily.

“No. But I spent a lot of time in places like that while my mother was away.” He looked around, deep in thought for a moment. “People helped me when I was that age, and I like to do the same now. Besides,” and his tone lightened. “they make me laugh.”

“They are silly, aren't they?” And she matched his chuckle with one of her own. “I had to try so hard not to laugh that day when they attacked you with those bandages!”

“I saw! And you nearly did.” She turned at his gentle chiding, but his smile softened his words. “You nearly made me laugh as well.”

“Well, they were really quite ... um... eager?” She shrugged, her voice filled with repressed laughter.

“I thought I was going to be smothered.” he confessed in a tone as obviously light as he could manage. And she laughed outright, the sound golden in the gritty city air.

“Not while I was there, you weren't. It was good of you to let them do that to you. A lesser man – well, draenei – would have run away screaming.”

“Why, thank you! I'm so very brave.” And he playfully flexed his muscles at her, prompting another peal of that laughter as she rolled her eyes.

The market wasn't far ahead now, and they companionably made their ways into the outskirts of it, Anina starting to cast her eyes over the various stalls as she looked for the required items.

He could tell she was being hesitant to begin with, trying to balance all the items she was purchasing by herself, shifting them around in her arms and propping them against her hips as she attempted to make room for each new thing. So he stepped forward and sighed.

“Excuse me, but that's what I'm here for.” he said gently as he took some of the heavier items from her, notably the sack of apples which was seemingly enveloped in his massive arms before he placed them into his bags.

“I don't want to be a bother. I can do this.” she replied, her cheeks colouring a little as she looked down.

“I'll let you know when you are.” he continued firmly, taking yet another item from her overburdened self.

“Oh. Well, thank you.” She sounded somewhat embarrassed, and he frowned a little.

“You're welcome.” was all he could say, though he wondered why there was that subtle change to her. So he added, “At least this way Matron Mercy won't yell at me.”

“Well, true.” He was surprised at the strength of his relief as he heard her amusement reassert itself.

The rest of the shopping didn't take too long – some candles, some bread, some threads, and they were back off towards the orphanage. She set a faster pace this time and he followed, knowing she was on a time limit. Some of the items were needed for the dinner which was to be served in a matter of minutes, and so their chatter had to be kept to a minimum as they moved.

Together they handed out the bread to the hungry children straight from the bags while Mercy and Nicole handed out the bowls of stew, and it was only when the children were all served and scarfing down their meals that Kaikavus and Anina allowed themselves to put their burdens away, and sit down for a moment.

Nicole was ladling out another bowl of stew now, and looked questioningly towards the big draenei. “Will you stay for a meal, Kaik? We've plenty today.”

He shook his head. “No, thank you.” he said softly, looking towards Anina, then back to Nicole. “I should probably get back to my guild.” And he stood, stretching his cramped muscles.

“T'ank ya for de help today, mon.” Mercy said, returning her spoon to her bowl. And Anina nodded in agreement, smiling.

“Yes, thank you, Kaikavus. It was really appreciated.”

Her smile really did light up her face. He caught himself before he moved into a full on stare, and deliberately looked away.

“You are most welcome.” he avowed, and retrieved his helmet from its hidey hole, placing it over his head with a simple movement.

“It was very good to meet you.” And that soft voice spoke nothing but truth. “Perhaps we'll meet again soon?”

“Oh, I'm sure I'll be around.” he replied, bowing respectfully as his lips quirked into a small, thoughtful smile. “I'll see you then.” Then he waved to the children, who of course all waved back – some with food still on their spoons. “May the Naaru bless you and yours.”

And he quickly stepped from the room.

_Yes._ He considered as he called for his hippogriff. _First impressions are definitely worth exploring..._

The last vestiges of Zul'Aman had dropped away; he truly was home again.


	3. Into Sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when an orphanage assistant is stuck working on the books on a sunny day in Shattrath.

There was a certain spring to her step these days, a lightness of being that was such a welcome change from what she had been. The donation of her family farm seemed to have been the turning point in her life. Without that weight on her shoulders she could hold her head higher, and she was starting to live again.

Working with the children was a joy; though she worried and fretted about making sure things were right for them, she enjoyed their company and their endlessly complicated stories. She grieved with the little ones who still felt their losses, and made sure they at least had someone to talk to if they needed it. After all, sometimes that was all one needed to start to heal, and the smiles she could coax out of even the most damaged little one was often all she needed to buoy up her own downward turning thoughts.

The people she worked with were kind and supportive, even if a bit brusque at times in Mercy's case, and she was glad to know them. Nicole was a little on the quiet side, but her dedication to the children couldn't be beaten. And of course Mercy was everywhere, the guiding hand which kept the orphanage alive. When she wasn't actively looking after the children, she was out cadging, annoying and generally threatening those around her for the items which would keep them going. She was a force of nature, and to watch the elder troll in action was like watching a storm blowing in.

Then there was that volunteer, Kaikavus. Of all those who found their ways in to assist the orphans, he was the one who stood out to her. Though his visits were infrequent at best owing to the nature of his lifestyle and the duties his guild put upon him, they were at least memorable ones. Unlike so many of the others who just came, did their perceived duty to the children and left, he always took the time to speak to the regular attendants as well, as though they were real people. She appreciated that about him, as well as his ready sense of humour. His ability to laugh at himself was quite endearing, and he did it with such abandon that it made her wish she was as comfortable in her own skin as he was in his.

It was a good life she had made for herself here. She was making a difference, and she had found friends. There was little more she could ask for, and for the first time in a long time, she could call herself content.

It was bath day at the orphanage, and she could hear the squeals and splashing of the romping children as she sat in the foyer, quill in hand as she frowned over the figures. The Orphan Matron had quickly discovered Anina's ability to write, and pressed her into service as a report writer and number tallier, even though she had tried to explain that it was more magical writings she was trained in. No matter, she was better at it than the illiterate Matron, and the only slightly less so Nicole, so she made do, glad she wasn't in the bedlam she could hear in the main room.

It was stressful work, though, and she squinted at the pages trying to make sense of it all as she scribed, feeling tension grip her across her shoulders as she slouched forward in the dim illumination. She didn't know how long she sat there for, but she did know her hand was getting sore when the light abruptly became even dimmer as a shadow fell across the doorway.

She looked up, sighing as the figures became dim blurs once again, then smiled as she saw the cause.

He was a tall draenei, with broad shoulders for even a man of that race. He'd removed his helmet as he stepped into the doorway so his stoic features were plainly visible, though he now had something of a concerned smile upon his face as he peered at her through the gloom.

“Aninae, what are you doing here on a glorious afternoon like this?” He gestured with a large hand behind him, taking in the sunshine pouring into the city behind him.

“Hello to you, too.” she grumbled, but with a smile to lighten the words before slapping the back of her hand against the ledger she was working on. “I'm taking this child free hour to get some work done on the books, and I was using that sunshine you're standing in to see what I was doing.”

“Do you people deliberately schedule child free time for when I can come visit?” he sighed, but his eyes danced as he moved to allow the sun to shine in once more.

“Of course we do.” She smiled teasingly as she bent back to her work, squinting at the pages once more as she inscribed a new notation. The man continued to watch her for a moment, and shook his head.

“Why aren't you at least outside where you can see better? Your eyes have to be sore.” he intoned, his rich voice concerned.

She flapped the pages in reply. “Too windy.” she said, then gestured to the splashing sounds behind her. “The kids shouldn't be too much longer though – the water'd have to be running out, if nothing else.” Another big splash followed by childish giggles punctuated her words, and she chuckled softly to herself. "See?"

“Oh no, I'm not having Mercy push me into mopping that lot up.” He was looking at her appraisingly now, and tilted his head slightly to one side. “Why don't you come with me for a while – give your eyes a rest? We could get a drink at the World's End.”

She wrinkled her nose at the thought, still scribing in her book. “I'm not much of a drinker.” she replied easily, her mind swirling with numbers and notes, wondering how she was going to make it all make sense when it was all just so stupid...

The shadow fell across her page again, and she made a small frustrated sound.

“Kaik...” she softly chided as the large man leaned over and gently took the quill from her fingers, laying it in the ledger and firmly closing it.

“You need the break.” he told her as she glowered up at him. “Come on. Let's just take a walk in the sunshine for a while. How long has it been since you've been on a walk just for recreation's sake?”

His light tone was wearing her down. That soft smile on his face was kind, and she could tell he only meant well. With a sigh she shook her head.

“Mercy's going to kill me.” she said as she stood, smoothing her robe behind her as she replaced the ledger on the shelf it was kept.

“No she won't. She'll kill me. But I think I can handle it. After all, I can reincarnate.” he assured her, his eyes still dancing with that amusement she so enjoyed of him. And now he raised his voice. “Mercy! I'm stealing your assistant for a while!”

“What dat?” came the cry over the noise from the main room. “Dat be you, Kaikavus?”

“Yes! We're just off for a walk! See you later!” And with a wink, the large man had taken Anina by the hand and pulled her out into the sunshine before the troll could even sputter a reply.


	4. Mist Shrouded Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When acquaintance moves into true friendship - a conversation on the top of Shattrath City.

“I never realised you could see so far up here!”

She had been hesitant to step towards the edge to begin with, the drop down to the Lower City gaping far beneath them, but with gentle coaxing Kaikavus had managed to encourage her to sit beside him. Now with his backpack between them, filled with travel rations and treats he had brought back from his travels, they looked out across the city from high upon the Aldor Rise.

The horizon was shrouded in mist as day retreated towards nightfall, though the edges of Terokkar Forest could just be seen. In the centre of the city a beam of pure light shot into the sky, announcing to any who sought the fall of the Draenei city that the Naaru were here, and it was under their protection. Far below them the city bustled, but up here in this terrace of the holy ones, it was a place of quiet and sanctuary, with only the occasional squawk of intrusive hilarity from far below floating up to intrude.

“I used to live here, when I first came to Shattrath.” Anina mused as she looked out across the distant city. “But I suppose I never came over here to look out. I was too busy doing... whatever I was doing, I guess.” She looked down for a moment and shrugged lightly before reaching into the pack.

“I don't think many come here.” Kaikavus replied, retrieving an item from the bag first and presenting it to her with a smile. “Try this. I made it myself.”

“I didn't know you were a cook!” she said as she took the proffered item from him and unwrapping it. “What is it?” She turned the lightly crumbed item over in her hands curiously.

“A golden fish stick. I think you'll like it.” There was a note of pride in his voice as he spoke, his thick Draenei accent soft and encouraging as she nibbled the end of it. The flavour was delicate, but had a warming effect upon her, and she licked her lips in appreciation.

“Oooh, that is good.” she beamed, looking at the draenei man in admiration. “What's the secret to that slight sweetness I can taste?” She took a larger bite and munched happily.

“It's all in the sprinkling action when you apply the spices. “ he replied, holding out one large hand in demonstration, the thick fingers rippling gently as he mimicked shaking them over some imaginary fillet. “I'll show you some time, if you would like.”

She laughed softly, shaking her head. “I've never been much of a cook. Spiced Bread, and that's about it really.”

“I can still show you.” he chuckled, retrieving an item of his own from the pack and unwrapping it with deft movements. “Who knows? It might inspire you to learn.” It was hard to miss that laugh in his tone, and she stuck her tongue out at the gentle teasing.

“I'll tell you what. You get to eat the failures.”

“You have a deal.” And he took a neat bite of his own food with a thoughtful smile on his face.

They sat in a friendly silence for a moment, eating their meals and meditating upon their own thoughts as they watched the city.

“How did you know of this place?” she asked quietly, brushing off her fingers after finishing her food. With a slow gesture of one hand, Kaikavus indicated the pack, his expression questioning. She gently shook her head in the negative. “No, thank you.”

“Alright.” He lowered his hand and regarded her once again. “I used to live here in Shattrath, many years ago, and this was a place I came to to think. And since I came back, I've been coming here again.” His deep voice was muted somewhat in the cooling air.

“It's a good place.” she agreed. “I wish I'd found it myself.”

He shifted in his seat now, his tone becoming deliberately lighter.

“How did you come to work at the orphanage? I don't think I've heard.” he said now. “Because – and forgive me – but you don't seem the usual worker type.”

“What do you mean?” she asked curiously, and he shrugged, smiling softly.

“It's the air of competence you show. But I am willing to be wrong about that.” His smile taunted her as his eyes glowed.

“I can't argue with it put like that, can I?” She laughed, but there was a sour note within the sound. “Well, I used to be a traveling priest, but...” She paused, her eyes darkening as she thought about her words, not wanting to say anything too much. “...a few... things happened. I ended up here in Shattrath, and saw the orphanage needed help. I talked with Mercy, and ended up working for her. I used to really love working with the orphans in Stormwind.”

“I see.” His tone was quiet, even concerned, but he said nothing of what was audible within it.

“And what about you? Why do you work for the orphans?”

“Haven't I already told you?” he countered softly, looking at her.

“Well, yes...” And she looked away, looking down into the pack again to hide her embarrassment. “But I didn't really understand, I have to admit. How did you end up in orphanages if your mother was still alive?”

“My mother was a Vindicator of the Hand of Argus.” he replied, his expression becoming far away, though he continued to look at her. “After my father died, she was alone in raising me, and when she was called to war, there were few options. She didn't realise until later there were others of our family who had survived the wars, and she wanted me to be safe. She always came back for me when her tours were over.”

“I'm so sorry.” Anina said, her voice catching in her throat. However, a gentle hand reached out and touched her face, brushing her cheek with soft fingertips, guiding her to look back at the draenei.

“Don't be.” He smiled as he sat back in his place. “My experiences amongst the orphans were generally good ones thanks to people like yourself, and I want to help in whatever small ways I can for the ones in those situations now.”

'That's such a good thing to do.” she sighed, amazed at his generosity of spirit. So many had turned inwards during these times, seeking only to line their own pockets, to do only that which benefited themselves, that she truly appreciated his difference.

“No more than giving up one's entire travelling life to look after them.” he countered, still looking at her. His expression was one of caring; of admiration, even, and she found herself colouring under it. “I would like to hear about your travels sometime, if you will permit me to.”

“I... don't want to talk about that right now.” She squirmed at the thought, the cool of the evening and memory causing her to shiver. “There were things...”

“Then don't.” And his fingertips brushed her face once again, the draenei man smiling sadly at her as she felt comfort in that gentle touch. “When you're ready to speak of it, I'll be here to listen.”

He sat back again, and together they looked out into the city.


	5. Portals of Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A budding relationship between a human and a draenei becomes known to those who might wish to oppose it.

Part of the duties of a Warguard in the Order of Exiles – though one not strictly adhered to, given the uncertainty of life in those war torn times – was to provide guidance and instruction for those who had not yet gained enough experience in the worlds around them to venture far on their own. On this particular day, it was her friend's cousin who was attending to this duty for her, and she was glad of his company.

It had been quite a session in the forest as the older man taught her to be aware of totem placement, as in groups she would often be placed with an elemental shaman to maximise the usage of her magics. She killed things easily with her fire and arcane spells, and it had been only rarely Kaikavus had had to step in with either healing or lightning at all. She was an intelligent woman, if a little unassuming, and tried her best to learn quickly from the smallest amount of instruction, ensuring she never made the same mistake twice.

At the end of the training, she had gratefully opened a portal back to the capital city, and they both made their ways down to the market place, each needing to replenish certain stocks after their jaunt.

They were both at the magical reagent vendor, chatting amiably after the Broken vendor handed them their purchases. Kaikavus was a good man, despite some of the things Bolour had heard her friend say at times. Privately she didn't agree with some of the things her Vindicator friend said about the shamans who had flourished on the new world they were making their home, but she knew better than to open her mouth lest Jalileh start in on magery again. She knew her friend's heart was in the right place, it was just she was so opinionated at times, it made her want to pull her hair out.

It was a simple conversation about people within their guild – laughter about the dwarf known as Icedagger, respect for the ever poised Jest and amusement at Kaikavus' old friend (and their guild master), Osigian – when she noticed something odd. Though his attention was still on her and he was as respectful as always, his gaze had shifted slightly and his shoulders straightened. A slight colour touched his face, notable only because she was so close, and the pale mage turned to see what the new focus of his regard was.

Yet there was nothing of consequence there. The so-called “Muffin Man” hawking his wares, the Broken Quartermaster, a group of children and their human attendant, “Granny” Smith the fruit vendor... nothing she could see that would prompt such a reaction from the normally quite balanced man. So she disregarded this and continued to talk, though part of her mind continued to wonder, even as she laughed at Kaikavus' rendition of one of Icedagger's convoluted stories which he told complete with outrageous accent.

It was when the children flocked around him, hugging his kilted legs and attempting to take his hands that she began to see more of the picture. She dimly remembered someone having said something about him occasionally volunteering for the orphanage, but that reality hadn't hit home until the children had swamped him, leaving him with a silly smile on his face as he tried to make sense of their instant chatter. It made her head ache, honestly – she was a solitary girl at heart, and was about to move away when something caught her eye.

The attendant, a larger human with long brown hair, had approached him, and Bolour could see the heightened colour on her face as she tried to herd the children back into some semblance of order. They were laughing at one another, the woman apologising to him for the tumult, but the expression on his face as he looked at her! By the Naaru, didn't she see that?

Her mouth opened slightly, stuck somewhere between confusion and shock, but quickly had to close it again as he turned towards her, inclining his head.

“Bolour, this is Aninae, a friend of mine from the orphanage. I've been mentoring Bolour today for the guild.” he explained.

“May the Naaru bless you and yours.” Bolour intoned, bobbing in a ritual curtsey before taking the woman's offered hand, but she was still stunned by that look, as well as a touch envious. No man had ever looked at her in that way.

“Nice to meet you.” the human said with a smile, grasping her hand in a firm grip before turning back to Kaikavus. “But you know my name's Anina, not Aninae...”

Bolour saw his teasing smirk before he repressed it.

“Blame Mercy and her accent, mon.” His impression of a troll was fairly appalling, coming from that deep draenic rumble, but it was at the very least recognisable. “It not be my fault she be sayin' it wrong. It just stuck dis way.” Then he tilted his head a bit and added, his eyes crinkling in amusement, “Mon.”

The two women groaned as one at the utterly mangled syllables, though the children around them giggled.

“Please, just call me Anina.” the woman pleaded with a playfully harried look at the shaman, and Bolour nodded in agreement.

“Of course.” The mage managed a shy smile as she inclined her head.

“I should get these guys back to the orphanage.” The woman sounded reluctant, but smiled down at the children who still clustered around them. “It's homemade cherry pie tonight, if we can get these ingredients back to Nicole on time.” That prompted a lot of rustling and champing at the collective bits of the children, who all began to disengage from the man and cluster back around Anina. She put her hands out and gently touched as many of them on the heads and shoulders as she could, in as close to an embrace as she could get amongst so many as she gently encouraged them to head off.

“Are you coming to visit us soon, Kaik?” one little tyke asked, his big eyes fixed on the tall man as he clutched at Anina's robe.

“I'll have to see if I can drop in this evening.” he said softly, though his eyes flickered yet again to the woman amongst them. “Perhaps I can read you a little more of that story before you sleep?”

“YAY!” Bolour shook her head at the noise as the children began to move off at a fair clip, even those carrying burdens of fruit bags and other items jogging along the pathways. Anina shook her head as she moved to keep up with them, but was stopped by a hand at her wrist.

“Will you be there later?” Kaikavus asked in an undertone, and Bolour felt totally out of the picture as she heard that soft question. How could the woman be so dense as to not realise...? But she obviously didn't, did she? Or else why the unchanged expression? Perhaps she just didn't know how to read draenei? Or was it Bolour who couldn't read humans?

The human nodded now, smiling as she moved on, waving cheerily as she swept after the marauding horde of children. And then she was gone, and Kaikavus was taking a soft, deep breath.

A sudden thought crossed her mind as she watched him looking out after the departing woman. “Have you seen Kamineh lately?”

She didn't know why she asked it, but the question had an abrupt affect on the draenei man. His face darkened as he shook his head, and he blinked rapidly.

“No. I think she's been traveling in Shadowmoon Valley lately.” Even his voice was darker, less jouvial as he replied. “Why do you ask?”

Because this reminded me of her... Bolour thought wildly, but didn't say it. “I was wondering if she might do some enchanting for me, but I've not seen her for a while.” she quickly lied, her words a mumble, as she was terrible at untruths. And she flushed a slow violet as Kaikavus studied her, saying nothing, before he nodded.

“I see.” And he nodded, his demeanour still respectful, but something had changed. He was a touch more distant now, and stepped slightly backwards. “You did very well today. We just need to work next time on making sure you don't attract too much attention with my totems boosting your spell power. Perhaps Hawkwinter or Osigian will come with us next time and you can see what you would be up against in a real situation.”

“Thank you, Kaikavus.” She was being dismissed, she could feel it, and she regretted mentioning Kamineh. After all, that was all over long ago, wasn't it?

"You are most welcome.” His smile was a pale echo of what it normally was, but at least it was heartfelt as he bowed to her, and his tone was genuine. “I think we should be able to meet again in a week, after we come back from the Keep.”

“Alright.” And she curtseyed in turn, trying not to look into his eyes. She was shamed enough as it was.

“May the Naaru bless you, Bolour.”

“May they keep you and yours.” she returned, and with a wave, the shaman was gone, striding off into the rest of the city.

The slender mage sighed now, running a hand over her tightly coiffed white hair before she reached into her bags. Withdrawing a small white stone, she brushed her fingers along it and said,

“Jalileh, I think there's something you would want to know...”


	6. Tea Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anina Eastman is invited to a friendly get together of Kaikavus' friends and relatives, but finds that it's perhaps not such a friendly gathering at all.

The invitation had come unexpectedly, printed on fine paper in the fluid night elf lettering style. In her conversations with Kaikavus, she had learned of the small number within his guild who met whenever they could as a social endeavour, on those rare occasions when their various duties and travels would allow them to gather. He had never attended one of these meetings, he'd said, though his cousin had, but reported that as a general rule they were good people, and their interactions were quite amusing even in general guild life.

She was confused as to why they would invite her to one of their gatherings, particularly given she had never met the majority of them, but was pleased to meet more of Kaikavus' friends, and so she readily accepted, even if the thought of it sent nervous butterflies flocking into her stomach.

It had taken a little work, but she managed to organise it so that she could attend the tea party and not lose too much time with the children. Even the mage, Bolour, had agreed to create a portal for her so she might get back before the children's dinnertime.

And so she arrived in Stormwind, her robes neatly pressed and clean, her hair tied back from her face today instead of the usual loose mass she normally left it hanging in.

It was Bolour who opened the door to her polite tap, her white hair as tightly bound and coiffed as it had been the first time she had met the pale draenei. The mage inclined her head with a shy smile, after her soft greeting, gesturing into the small house they had rented for the occasion. Anina could already hear the sounds of conversation and the clinking of cutlery – seemingly the meeting was in progress – and she felt that surge of hesitation the butterflies always prompted. For a moment she wished herself back up on the Aldor Rise, hiding in her bed, but she stepped in, determined not to let her anxieties get the better of her.

It was an odd mix of people she found herself ushered into, a collection of all the Alliance races save a gnome, but all female – and all looking at her with a wide range of expressions, none particularly friendly.

“I'm sorry.” she thought she heard Bolour whisper as the butterflies became a lot larger.

“Welcome.” A white haired night elf in the accoutrements of a priestess stood, smiling gently before bowing sinuously. “You must be Anina.”

She nodded in agreement, looking around the faces and wondering what was going on.

“My name is Ahmunsira.” the night elf continued. “Thank you for coming. Please, sit down?”

The chair the woman indicated was the only one left unoccupied, in the centre of the room next to the food table. Feeling like she was on trial, she slowly took it, nodding.

“Thank you.”

The white haired elven priest looked somewhat ill at ease as she glanced about the gathering, her pale face flushed a faint purple as she spoke.

"Well, the reason why we asked you here today," she said softly now, with a glance towards the draenei woman Anina didn't know. "is to address certain concerns regarding your relationship with Kaikavus."

"Don't look at me." a dark skinned blonde drawled as she reached out a black sleeved arm to snag a cinnamon scroll from the table before them. "I'm just here for the food."

A murmur of disgust swept the gathering, the lone dwarf woman muttering, "Damn warlock. Can ye no' be less helpful, aye?"

The elf raised a silencing hand and sighed.

"It is a concern to us." The lilting alien accent cut across the group and as one all turned towards its source.

The draenei woman seemed somehow set apart. Her skin was as dark as night, and she seemed to sit a mental distance from the others, even though in actuality it was more like inches.

"There are few of us now as it is," she continued, an almost palpable aura of steadfastness and bravery emanating from her. Something about the mere presence of draenei in a gathering, made one feel stronger, more powerful, and it was a definite feeling amongst them all with two in the room. "that are not Eredar or Auchenei travesties.

"It isn't my place to question my cousin," Her voice was softer now, but no less lilting. "but we feel he should attend to his own race, seeing that we have a new generation of true draenei to pass our teachings on to. We were almost annihilated on Draenor, not to mention the crash of the Exodar."

"Bah!" the dwarf declared as she lowered her tankard from her lips, leaning back on her chair. "I dinnae ken why he cannae screw who he be wantin' tae. There be too much duty an fuss' about an' nae enough love, if ye ask me." Her piece said, she propped her heels against the tabletop and took a long pull at her drink.

"That's interesting, coming from a dwarf." came the soft, rather snide comment from a tall elven woman leaning against a wall. Beside her, a large black and white striped cat sat at attention, its fangs glinting in the torchlight.

"Aye?!" The dwarf sat up, clutching at her sheathed sword as her feet clattered against the floor. "Ye want a go, do ye?"

The leaning elf yawned languidly, barely moving, though a certain readiness was apparent in her eyes, and seemingly out of nowhere a bow was in her hand. The tension in the air thickened.

"I had sex with a Tauren once."

This comment, delivered in an almost bored tone of voice, neatly defused the situation, as abruptly all eyes were on the warlock, who sat studying her nails.

"Ugh. Why?"

It was an odd comment to have come from a purple-black panther curled up on a nearby rug, but it did capture what many of them were thinking.

"He was some kind of ambassador, I think. Or envoy." A shrug. "He paid well, but I was bruised for weeks." Her eyes narrowed and glittered with mischief as she glanced from the two draenei women to the brunette human. "Much like sex with a male draenei, I'd bet." And she smiled maliciously. "Not that any of you, save one, would know about that."

“Just what are you all saying?” Anina declared now, her face flaming red as she realised just what and who they were talking about. “You think that Kaikavus and I...?” She looked around, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the notion as she could see just how seriously the group were taking it. “You think Kaikavus and I...” She waved a hand in the air, incredulous at such a thought, and the chuckles did start, borne of nerves and extreme discomfort. “No! No, the thought is just... no!” She shook her head vehemently, trying to dispel the mental image that sprang up at the words. “Just... no.” The last words were a whisper; the notion was just so completely unbelievable.

“So you're saying there's no relationship between the two of you?” the draenei woman pressed, leaning forward intently, her green hair brushing her brow before she flicked it back into place.

“Yes! Well, no, we're friends, but nothing like you all are suggesting...” It bothered her that apart from the fact that they could even consider such a thing possible, that they obviously thought that it was their business to interfere with it. What kind of people were these? “Why does it bother you so much?”

“It's as I said, he needs to attend to his own race. We are few now...” and her voice softened with an unfeigned sadness. “We are long lived, very long lived, but even in the best of times, draenei have always bred slowly. And in the wars we have lived through, we lost so many. Including Kaikavus' entire family. He is the last one left of a noble line, and if he doesn't attend to it, it will fall.”

“Hold on.” And the panther on the rug stood and stretched languidly, her form abruptly blurring into another night elf, her long green hair hanging unbound towards the floor. “Aren't you his cousin, Jalileh? How can his family be all dead if you're not?”

“Direct family, of course.” came the reply. “And I wasn't related to his mother. My father and his were brothers.” And she held up a hand as the druid opened her mouth to argue. “A different line.”

“Right.” The elf crossed her arms over her chest, but said no more, her full lipped mouth setting in a sour line.

“Also,” The priest now spoke, her words diffident and sad, but no less clear than the Vindicator's. “His duty to the guild we all belong in has been faltering, recently. He wasn't there as we breached the time gates of Mount Hyjal, and his presence was sorely missed amongst us.”

She thought he'd been visiting a little more regularly of late, but she hadn't paid it much heed, as his schedule had always been a bit erratic. And to be honest she had been very glad to see him – he was her best friend; why wouldn't she be glad to see him? But if it was at the cost of his duty to the people he was bound to...?

“I had no idea.” Anina breathed, pain rising in her throat as she looked around the room at all these solemn faces. She didn't like they had done this behind his back, though for all she knew, they had already spoken to him of all this. And if he was refusing to do as he needed to, surely it was up to those who cared for him to intervene on his behalf? “Then what is it you want me to do about all this?”

'T'ey want ye t'stop bonkin' 'im, lass.” said the dwarf, her hand still on her sword as she eyed off the hunter, but her tone was almost reluctant. As reluctant as a parade ground bellow can get, anyway.

“But I'm not!” And her cheeks were aflame again.

“Aye, I believe ye, lass.” the dwarf said consolingly, slapping her sword back into its scabbard. “But ye'd be better not be goin' near 'im a wee while, aye?”

“What Sjoukje says is right.” The paladin's face was cool now as she sat back in judgement, her black skin shining in the artificial light from the lamps. “I am of the belief – and I believe Ahmunsira as a representative of the guild is also...” The pale elf nodded in agreement. “- that it would be better for not only himself, but his people, if you were to make yourself unavailable to him. Then he can get back to what he needs to do, what he was sworn to do, without...” And she sought for a word.

“Distraction?” Anina sighed, and Jalileh nodded.

“Yes.”

The Council has spoken. Aninae thought to herself. And now it's up to me to abide. No matter how I – or he – might feel. Because this is right, if only to get these people off his back.

“Alright.” she said softly, the word the hardest thing she'd ever had to say. “I'll do that.”

“You swear on the Light?” And the Vindicator narrowed her eyes as she looked at the human.

“I don't see why I should have to...”

“She's a paladin. The Light has to come in somewhere.” the warlock mocked, but was ignored.

“Do you swear on the Light?” Jalileh pressed, and Anina sat back in her chair.

“Alright. I swear on the Light, then, if I absolutely must.” The words caused a band of iron to wrap around her gut, but what else could she do?

“Then, it's done.” The priest at least sounded regretful, and didn't seem to have the courage to look her in the eye as she indicated the spread of food on the table before them. “Now that's over, please, feel free to join us for our afternoon tea.”

“No thank you.” And she rose, straightening her robe behind her as she looked to Bolour. “May I please have a portal back home, Bolour? I'll pay for the reagent.” Her throat was dry, but at least her voice wasn't too rasping as she asked. She was glad of that, as glad as she was of the fact she hadn't cried. Her eyes were smarting, but she wouldn't. Because she knew this was right.

The draenei woman nodded, her face solemn as she beckoned Anina to the doorway, and without turning, the human followed, not even looking at the gathering as she left.

It wasn't until much later, that evening in the orphanage after the children had gone to bed, that she had the opportunity to put her hand into her bags. She had maintained a stiff upper lip for the children's sake, though to judge by the number of hugs she had received before bed, the canny little ones had known something was wrong.

However it was the folded piece of paper tucked into her pouch that attracted her attention, and curiously she unfolded it.

The script was blocky and looked as though it had been scrawled quickly, but the words printed upon it caused her eyes to blur with tears.

_Dear Anina,_

_It's unfair what they did to you. There aren't enough friends in the world, and you and Kaikavus are good friends. I can tell just by looking. Don't let them stop you._

_~ Periwinkle Blasertopp._

She didn't know who this Periwinkle was, but she was grateful that apparently she'd had one supporter in that room.


	7. Avoidance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anina works to keep her promise to Kaikavus' cousin, but gets berated for it.

If he was a suspicious man, he would think there was something wrong.

It had been several weeks now since he'd seen Aninae, though he'd been to the orphanage several times. He was glad to see the orphans, of course – after all, it was they who had drawn him to this place initially – however he had specifically taken this time away from the guild to be with her, to explore their friendship if he could.

The guild leader, Osigian, had been not merely supportive of the idea, but in fact had been the one to suggest the shaman do this, saying they would do fine in Hyjal without him, despite Kaikavus' protests. It had been a long time since Kaikavus had taken a proper break, he'd said; he should take some time away and come back relaxed and more focused.

Never once did the night elf outright mention the woman the draenei had been seen around town with, but Kaikavus knew his friend had a romantic streak behind his warrior's hardened exterior, and was almost embarrassed he was so easily readable. He was also pleased that he had such supportive friends.

So he had found himself in Shattrath more often, and for a while it had been wonderful to simply drop in for lunch, or to go for a walk, or just to talk with Aninae. It seemed that every time they met, he found something new to appreciate of her, whether it was her kindness or her ability to make a child smile. She was a woman of amazing depths, and he felt honoured to be included amongst her seemingly small group of friends.

Yet recently she hadn't been available, and it was beginning to concern him. Once or twice he could understand missing her, but every single time he had come to visit now, the orphans were there, but she was not, or too busy with some other task to come and see him. He thought he'd seen her once across the market place, but it must have only looked like her, for the person had turned and left before he could fully form his wave. The thought of it being anything else hurt too much.

If he were a suspicious man, he would believe there was something going on. However, he was not. He simply missed Aninae, more than he would have thought possible.

* * * * *

It was even harder to see him than she'd thought it would be; having to fight that familiar thrill of recognition and deliberately turn away had made her physically ill.

After that glance across the marketplace, the old hesitation reasserted itself. It was so hard, this desire to see him, being unable to tell him why she couldn't see him anymore, but everything she formulated in her mind sounded like an accusation, as though he'd done something wrong when he hadn't. Also, she had given her word, sworn on the Light, that she wouldn't contact him again, and she couldn't go back on that, no matter whether she'd been forced into it or not. She had agreed, and she would stand by her word, no matter how that had forced her to retreat away from the public's eye.

He had known his family and guild so much longer than he'd known her, and she couldn't wrap her head around the concept that he would be going against them just to see her. Their friendship was a wonderful thing, certainly, but it wasn't enough to give up that much for, surely? No. He needed help to get back to what he was supposed to do – Jalileh was right. And he needed protection from what she suspected would be backlash if he didn't. If her absence would help him with that, then so be it.

It was a hard thing to lose family, she knew, and he had lost so much already. She wanted to spare him more pain than he'd already faced. He would forget their friendship in time, and go back to those who really mattered. Theirs was a casual friendship at best anyway, and she was just an orphanage assistant.

Mercy was getting exasperated with her.

“Ya just not be fair, mon! He be comin' here everyday an' ya not be talkin' with him an' all! He be ya friend, an' I not be coverin' up for ya too much longer!” she cried at the miserable bookkeeper as she huddled in the back of the main room once more, her ledger and reports around her like shields. “Why won'tcha talk wit' him, ya owe him dat much!”

But she bore the troll's condemnation with equanimity. She was doing the right thing after all, and knew that if she told the Orphan Matron the real story, she'd have to go interfere, and as much as a part of her wanted that, the rational part knew that she simply couldn't allow it.

It would all fade soon. He would go back to his duty, and she could come back out of the orphanage. And who knew? Maybe one day she could even talk to him again, as colleagues rather than friends once he was back in his old routines.

She looked forward to that day with a grim determination.


	8. Sleepless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insomnia can be cruel, as can the thought of being denied someone who had become even more important to you than you had thought.

Another night without sleep. What was it now? Three nights? Four? Her days were spent in a kind of dreamworld now as she staggered through the day, but her nights remained sleepless, tossing and turning on her simple cot as she tried desperately to relax. Sometimes she dozed, but that was just enough to get her mind racing, going to places she didn't want to go, rousing her body to a state of awareness once more.

She didn't even know for certain what it was she was dreaming about. All she remembered of them was heat, a suffocating, silken heat that threatened to drown her before she clawed her way back to the surface, but she didn't remember fear. In fact, it was quite the opposite. But the trembling these dreams set off in her was annoying at best, infuriating at worst, given her bed was behind the children's so that if there was a problem she was easily reached. She couldn't afford to make too much noise at night for fear of waking up all the little ones, and so she lay there, trying to regulate her breathing, trying without much success to find that velvet blackness.

And so she was awake again, padding quietly past the sleeping children to step out into the night air, closing her eyes against the cool, allowing it to soothe skin warmed by the memory of heat.

"What is wrong with me?" she sighed as she wrapped her arms about herself, prepared to yet again wait out the dawn.

Perhaps she was still missing Kaikavus, she thought with a sigh as she leaned her weary head against the wall behind, closing her eyes as she thought of the draenei man with a sad smile. He'd been her best friend - in reality, her only friend, no matter what the Council (they might have been calling themselves friends, but after that joke of a tea party three weeks before, she'd been calling them the Council since) said. He could make her laugh with a well turned (if heavily accented) phrase or imitation, she could talk to him and know he would listen, and he would reply with tact and compassion - qualities so very rare in these war torn days.

However, the Council had made it very clear they didn't want him associating with her again. Why, she couldn't quite wrap her head around as it incoporated all kinds of wild theories and talk of maintaining the draenei people, and she knew he belonged to a guild of more than just draenei. And to take the other line of reasoning - to think there'd been any kind of relationship between the two of them other than friendship was just laughable! But she abided, not because they said so, but because she knew that in the end, it was right.

The trembling started again - it was getting cold out there. Raising her head, she sighed and soundlessly made her way back to her lonely little cot and lay back down on it, praying once more to the Light that sleep would finally claim her.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another day, another market visit. She'd wandered around the market three times already; in her semi somnolent state she'd missed so many things on her list, but she was determined to get them. Frustration with herself was running high, but she just couldn't seem to focus on anything much, she was so bone weary. A few times now she'd caught herself on the edge of tears for the most simple of things - the sound of a bird singing, stubbing her toe on one of the many cracks on the paths around the orphanage, the scent of flowers on the air - but she'd always caught herself, but knew that she was going to break, and soon.

Perhaps a visit to Stormwind might help, she considered as she trudged her way back to the orphanage. A nice holiday, far away from her work, being in amongst her own kind for a while, maybe even seeing some old acquaintances. No responsibility, no work for a while, and no constant anxiety that she might actually see Kaikavus and have to explain why she was avoiding him. Not that she wouldn't be truthful, but Jalileh had extracted the promise she wouldn't see him from her, and no matter how much she still ached, she would abide. Again, not for the up jumped little paladin, but for Kaikavus.

"Miss Anina! Miss Anina!" The piping cries of some of her charges cheered her a little, and she managed to get a bit of spring into her step as three little ones ran up the uneven path to her.

"We have a surprise for you!" one little draenei boy said cheerfully as they fell into step with her.

"Oh really?" Her voice even sounded tired, she decided, noting how much effort it took to get even that small amount of lift to her tone, but it wouldn't do to sound all grumpy at the children.

"Yep!" This speaker was a small human girl, blonde and with the kind of sweet countenance that promised much beauty when she grew up. She walked along in front of the much older woman, walking backwards with the nimbleness of one who has had much practice. She held her hands behind her and grinned - as did all the children. "Here!"

In her hands was a small open box, and Anina was a bit confused, as well as pleased, to see a small chocolate cake nestled within it.

"We saved up and bought it for ya!" the little orc girl at her right side piped up. "Coz we know you're not feeling really good right now, and Tammy heard you wanted cake!"

"When was this, Tammy?" Anina slipped her bags into one hand and reached out for the box, genuinely confused as she was not really much of a sweet tooth.

"You were sleeping." the blonde girl avowed, still lightly stepping backwards. "And talking too! Jomar heard you too!" The draenei boy nodded happily in agreement. "So we thought we'd get you something special, and so we did! Hope you like it!"

"Yes! It's wonderful! Thank you so very much!" She even managed a smile, despite the crushing weight that had just landed upon her.

The kids skipped away again, leaving the woman behind them. Deep inside her gut, she began to tremble once more.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Another sleepless night had her studying the ceiling cracks. Forty-seven, she knew, unless you counted tributaries as being part of the same crack, and then it was only thirty-four. Her eyes were so sore now she could barely keep them open, but closing them and allowing herself to drift off would bring her to a state of shocked awakening, and she knew that soon one of these jolting starts would wake up the kids. If they're not awake already, she thought wryly, once more thinking about the words of the little girl that afternoon.

The cake sat on the small table beside her cot, mocking her in the dim light from the fireplace. She'd left it there in case she had fallen asleep and in some random delusion decided she wanted to eat it, but knew that was a very thin hope.

She was leaving in the morning; she just had this one last night of looking after the children, and then she'd be away to Stormwind where perhaps she might leave all this tension behind her, away from this place where she was no longer knowing her own mind, and her body was starting to betray her so very badly. She wanted to sleep, to dream of nothing, to fade into black where all weights were lifted and she didn't have these strange mysteries she didn't want to solve.

She hadn't even bothered getting changed that night, simply slipped out of her shoes and tumbled into bed in her day clothes, knowing already that sleep would be denied her. So she rolled over and got up again, sliding her feet clumsily into her cloth slippers and tiptoed her way out of the room.

The Orphan Matron was still awake at this hour, and nodded at the human as she stepped out into the doorway.

"Nicole still be 'ere." the troll woman said softly, aware of her sleeping charges. "An' I still be. Why don'cha go an take a walk in de city, mon? Dey be alright til ya come back. I see to it." A three fingered hand squeezed the human's upper arm sympathetically, and the troll slipped back into the warmth of the orphanage.

Shattrath City at night was very much the same as it was during the daylight, only darker. People still milled around on their various errands, and the glittering forms of adventurers and soldiers lit up darkened areas as well as torches would have. She didn't feel any particular fear as she she wandered around, but her sight was dimmed with fatigue and she staggered as her unheeding feet tripped over pot holes. She almost sobbed in her frustrations, feeling everything she was trying so hard to repress well up in her throat. Tomorrow, tomorrow, she reminded herself, and the lump was able to be swallowed once more.

She was down by the World's End Tavern now, the braziers here burning bright across the darkened city and she paused for a moment, propping her tired self up against a wall and closing her eyes. The tears were welling again and she didn't even know why; she just felt so alone as she stood here in this place, hearing the patrons of the tavern murmur amongst themselves inside. The world swam around her, and all she wanted to do was sleep as she sank down against the wall.

Everything was a haze, she was just so very tired. She didn't even hear the movement beside her, nor felt the rush of wings. But she heard the voice, felt it move through her, setting her heart to racing and her body to thrumming as she opened her eyes.

"Aninae...." His voice was deep and resonant, his accented tone so familiar, so caring that she just wanted to die in its presence. "You look terrible. You haven't been sleeping?"

"No." was all she managed to whisper as he gently helped her to her feet, her skin hot beneath his touch.

"What is wrong?"

She raised her head in order to reply, lips parting slightly, but nothing could be said from the moment she looked upon him. The haze swirled about him, but he was solid and real, so close to her she could feel his body heat through the mail he wore, and she melted beneath his stoic regard. There were no words that could be said; all she could do was stare helplessly as tears rolled soundlessly down her cheeks.

There was a moment where everything stopped. He looked down upon her, hands still upon her arms from where he'd helped her up, and paused, a flash of indecision and wild hope briefly crossing his statuesque features. His hands ran to her shoulders, thumbs gently massaging them as he leaned in and oh so softly brushed his lips to her forehead.

A wave of pure fire raced through her, and it was all she could do not to moan at the soft contact as she leaned in to his touch. He paused again, studying her now shivering form, then bent to catch the trailing tears with two gentle kisses, and she was all too aware of the dry tip of his tongue as he caught at the salty liquid with deft strokes.

"I have wanted you since I first saw you." His whisper was rough with desire, even closer to her now, his proximity making her quail inside. "I have loved you since I came to know you. But I won't have you like this, hardly aware of what you're doing."

"I think you're going to have to, Kaikavus." Her laugh was more of a rasp, the last sound of a quickly sinking ship. "I can't go on like this."

Deftly he removed his gloves now, setting them into his pack as he stroked the trail of one tear with his fingertips, brushing her hair back from her face, her skin burning where he had touched her. She staggered in the face of that fire, and he caught her, his heated body pressing against hers, his hands moving across her back to support her, and she could feel his arousal in more than just his heartrate.

"I can't!" he grated, his breath warm against her face.

"Please!" she whispered, drowning in heat, everything dropping away from her but lust, the solid feel of him against her, the pressing of his sex even through his battle armour. "I am free from guilt, from duty, from sin. Tomorrow that's all going to come back, but right now I need you so badly; I didn't know I did but Light help me, I do, please..."

With a soft cry, he kissed her; passionate, slow, urgent. The world fell away as he swept her into his arms, cradling her as he strode... to where, she didn't know. She didn't care, though she noticed she was brushing past patched curtains as he gently lay her down on some yielding surface.

He removed his helmet, setting it aside, allowing his dark blue hair to spill down behind his shoulders. His thick fingers worked at the hasps of his chestplate, and soon it too was set aside, leaving his broad chest clad only in a thin undershirt. Her breath caught at the sight of him - how could she have not known she needed him so badly? He was so beautiful in the haze, in this warmth...

Her vision swam; she saw his sad smile, felt his fingertips brush along her face, heard the reluctance and passion in his rich voice as he murmured,

"You need to sleep. If you still feel the same tomorrow, then... then things will be different." There was a promise inherent in his tone that set her secret self aflame once more, but in this warmth, with this beauty beside her, she was drifting away. "I will be here, either way."

"No..." She tried to claw her way back, but it was too late and her body had been too long denied of more than just his presence. The velvet black claimed her despite herself, and she did not dream.

He was sleepless...


	9. Tomorrow...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anina and Kaikavus confront the reality of their feelings for one another, and take the next step.

It was the faint smell of canvas she first became aware of; the sun warmed cloth filling the air with its distinctive redolence. For a moment she was confused, and opened her eyes to work out where she was.

"Good morning."

Her heart leapt in her chest as her sleep hazed eyes focused upon the draenei man before her. He was lying a decent distance away, across the other side of what appeared to be a refugee tent of the type found in Shattrath, his head resting upon his outstretched arm. His eyes smiled at her, and she couldn't help but smile back. My friend, she thought fondly, though oddly her heart had begun to pound heavily as she looked at him.

"Hello there." she replied, noting as she sat up that she was still fully dressed save for her slippers, which were neatly placed beside the small pallet she was upon. Now he rose as well, moving with a grace at odds with his muscular form.

"You're looking a lot better now." he said warmly, though his oddly intent eyes never left her face. There was something about him that was different, she could see, an intensity to him even though he was as solicitous and caring as always.

However, there was also a grey cast to his usually pale blue skin, and the flesh about his eyes was slightly puffy.

"You're not. Have you been awake all this time?" She received a simple shrug in reply. "How long have you been there?"

"Does it matter?" he said, then chuckled. "Do not worry about me. I'll sleep soon enough." Now why did that send a thrill up her spine? she wondered, for he'd said it as a simple enough observation. Yet her entire body hummed with its resonance, and she had to fight off the shakes.

What is wrong with me?

"...I have wanted you since I first saw you..." The memory of those softly insistent words stole into her mind then, and she stared at him. Much of the night before was a blur to her - she'd really let herself get into a state. But surely she'd misunderstood him, surely she was remembering it wrongly. There was no way her friend felt that way about plain old her, was there? No way he could feel the way...

"...right now I need you so badly; I didn't know I did but Light help me, I do, please..."

"By the Light." she murmured, unable to stop the blush as it waved over her. Did I really say that?

"Do you want anything to eat?" he asked now, seeming not to notice her discomfiture as he indicated his backpack - she knew from prior outings with him that was where he kept his travel rations.

I'd love some cake! her irreverent self chirped in her mind, even as the rest of her grew mortified. Wrenching herself away from that, she forced her suddenly dry mouth to open and she rasped, "No. No thank you."

He nodded, taking a soft breath. She had never seen him quite so tentative, yet so intense. His every movement was deliberate, cautious; he was a man waiting for something, and was keeping himself tightly controlled until that time.

This wasn't just Kaikavus her friend, but someone else. Someone else who was causing her body to thrum with her awareness of him.

"And, so..." His voice was soft, hesitant, as he finally broke his study of her with an almost shy gesture - he glanced away to the side. "What... happened? Why were you out there, like that?"

It was her turn to look away, her flush darkening, though it wasn't entirely embarassment she felt.

"I haven't been sleeping well." It was lame, but it was an answer. "Bad dreams and the like." She didn't miss the twitching of his hand as though he was about to reach out and stroke her face as he had so often in the past. The absence of it abruptly hurt, deeply. "I just went out for a walk, you know, to clear my head."

His face reflected sympathy as his hand twitched again, then reached out to pat her hand. That small touch sent a lightning thrill inside her, even as it illuminated a dark, gnawing thing deep in her soul.

She shifted towards him; unconsciously? She didn't know. She knew she shouldn't, but equally knew she had to, and wanted to.

_But this is my friend!_

_"...I have loved you since I came to know you..."_ her instinct rejoindered, dragging up the memory.

His marvellous, tired eyes were on her once more, his shirt clad chest rising and falling as he, too, inched in closer to her, his gaze flickering over her in an intimate study that set her insides squirming.

"Where have you been these last weeks?" His voice was a whisper now, the slightly hurt tone caressing her ears even as it rebuked her, twisting deeply within her. "I have missed you."

She couldn't lie. Not to him. Not with him looking at her like that.

"I was told it was better for you not to see me. That you needed to not have this distraction, because you were a man of importance amongst your people. I needed to let you go, because you were finding it hard to do what it was your duty to, while you were friends with me."  
She had never seen him angry before, and this was fury, his entire face contorting with it as his eyes leapt ablaze.

"Jalileh." he growled, his fists clenching. "It was Jalileh who said these things, wasn't it?"

She nodded, stunned by the immediate force of him, taken aback but secretly pleased by his vehemence.

"It is my life and I shall associate with whom I choose, not my Light blinded cousin!" he avowed, one heavy fist pounding into the other before he barked a dark chuckle, his eyes taking Anina in with a frankness she found herself blazing under.

"What she wants," he continued, softer now but no less impassioned, "is for me to find a good draenei woman and father children, settle down on the Exodar or at Forest Song and forget about my calling to the Spirits. She believes I'm turning from the Light, but she couldn't be more wrong..." He shook his head. "The Light burns brighter in me now than it ever has."

She didn't realise she'd done it, but her heart wrenched so in her chest as he made his speech that she had put a hand on his clenched fist, squeezing it in support, in sympathy, and to forget the sudden lead weight in her belly.

His large hand enveloped hers, his breathing uneven as he intoned,

"I have missed you, Aninae."

"I have missed you too, Kaikavus." She could only breathe the truth beneath that burning regard. "So very much..."

"And how will you have me?" His words were almost inaudible, but she felt them in her soul. "I'll be your friend if that is what you want, until the end of time. You will hear nothing more of this again, but know that I want to be a lover to you, as well."

_Light help me..._

"Because of Jalileh?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and was appalled by his immediate reaction, rocking back as though he had been hit.

"No! Not because of Jalileh, or Bolour, or Velen or even the Light itself!" he avowed, one hand dismissing the idea with a savage sweep, the other grasping her hand as though he would never let it go. "But because it is what I've wanted for so very long..." And he tempered, his regard melting into helpless longing as he sighed, "You have to want that as well for me to have it. But as friend or as lover - I just want you in my life."

His voice cracked on these last words, vulnerable in his slumped position, so open at that moment, she didn't know what to say for fear of her words bruising this amazing man. So she reached out with gentle fingertips and, as he had so many times before, brushed a soft trail along his cheek.

"It's lover." There came a wrench deep inside her as she whispered her reply, a wrench of guilt and embarassment at breaking a promise, at doing what was not best for him. Yet there was no other choice - she couldn't stop being honest with him, not now their souls were on show. "I want you to be my lover, as well as my friend."

He made a soft sound, a longing sound as he rose to his knees, a sound of absolute relief as he moved before her and touched her face, guiding her up to kneel with him. His hands were slow as they wound around her, gently pulling her against him as he cupped her face in one palm.

"That's what you have." he breathed as he took her in a kiss.


	10. ...and Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anina and Kaikavus begin knowing each other in a much more physical way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains explicit sexual content between a draenei male and a human woman.
> 
> NSFW

"I want you to be my lover, as well as my friend." she said in an undertone, almost in confession to him.

He made a soft sound, a longing sound as he rose to his knees, a sound of absolute relief as he moved before her and touched her face, guiding her up to kneel with him. His hands were slow as they wound around her, gently pulling her against him.

"That's what you have." he breathed as he took her in a kiss.

His thick fingers wound lovingly into her hair as together they deepened the kiss, lips parting as one as tongues began to tentatively explore the others' mouths. It was a strange sensation, a silly thing, she managed to think amidst her swirl of desire for him, and she couldn't help but quirk her lips into a smile. He pulled away from her enough to whisper,

"And she smiles." But so was he as a response to her, and his soft tone was teasing as he hovered not millimeters away from her flushing lips.

"And I shouldn't?" She pushed her body harder up against his, his arousal already apparent between them. He sighed as she moved, both of his hands now moving down to encompass the expanse of her back, his glowing eyes burning as they studied her. So she reclaimed that kiss, desperate to refill the void between them, and he readily acceded to her wishes.

Hands over clothing can only explore so far, contours and shapes initially being a wonder, but as heat rose and mutual need grew, the need for skin started to push beyond decorum. She didn't know when she started to pull at the shirt he wore, dragging it from beneath the waistband of the mail kilt his legs were sheathed in, she only knew it had to go, and there was a certain exultation as it came free to grant her questing hands access to the warm expanse of flesh beyond. She felt the shudder go through them both as fingers started to wander across his back, feeling the muscles knit and move as he writhed beneath her touch.

Again he pulled away, a mute question in his eyes as he stroked the fastenings of her own robe. She nodded, craving his hands on her, but gasped as he gently folded the cloth down off her shoulders to reveal her pale skin. She stopped, pulling away to clasp the robe about herself for a moment, a blast of cold air seeming to cool her fires as she sat back upon the pallet.

"I'm sorry..." he murmured, obviously distraught at having gone too far too quickly and reached out an apologetic hand to caress her face. The contact thrilled her, but she still shivered.

He's going to have to look at me... she'd suddenly realised, and the thought appalled her. So many in Shattrath were perfect - perfect bodies, perfect physiques. The constant training and exploring demanded of an adventurer hardened bodies and smoothed imperfections, yet she had never managed to achieve that, even when she had adventured herself. She had always run to soft, to the larger side of things, and the thought of this... this god... seeing her undressed now that she had been away from that lifestyle for all this time made her almost physically ill.

He was frowning now, concern with a touch of frustration apparent in him, though the latter was quickly suppressed.

"Aninae?"

"You can't look at me." she whispered in a horrified tone. "I'm disgusting."

He laughed, and she snapped out of her own downward spiral, shocked by the totally open sound. She'd been expecting some reassurance, or perhaps some frustrated declaration, not this wonderfully amused bark.

"Oh, Aninae...!" He shook his head as he caressed her face again, the deepening of his voice with desire once more telling her far more than his words actually did as he leaned into her, his manner abruptly intent. "You are worried that I will find you repulsive, that you won't compare to the little stick insects that run around these worlds?" and he chuckled again, some huge joke playing in his desirous eyes even as she nodded. His hands touched hers as they clasped to the front of her robe, his thumbs massaging her fingers in an encouragement to relax. "I have always preferred my women more..." He considered. "...robust. And I have been looking forward to exploring your curves for a very long time." His hand moved down now, tracing the lines of her body through the cloth she held to her, brazenly caressing breast and abdomen alike and she shuddered in her rekindling desire. "A very... long... time." he reiterated, leaning closer still, the musky smell of him accompanied by body heat as he continued to caress. "And it would not matter if you were Broken." he continued softly. "Because it is you I want, not just your body. The way you are is a bonus, and I would be honoured if you would share yourself with me."

Her hands had relaxed a little in his sensual bombardment, the robe dropping to reveal her shoulders once more. He smiled now, tugging at the cloth.

"Please?"

It was a softly spoken word, but there was a world of desire within it, and she felt herself melting from the apex of her thighs upwards in the face of it. He was almost over her now, all heat and passion and she shuddered at his proximity. However, she still retained enough of herself to smile a little.

"You first."

His lips quirked into a wry smile as he leaned back, hoisting his shirt over his head in an easy move, his broad chest abruptly exposed as he shook his arms and tentacles free and tossed the cloth to the other side of the tent. But more - his hands moved to the waistband of his kilt and he shucked it from himself, easing it off his tail, and also tossed it away. Now he spread his hands, showing himself to her, his desire now readily visible beneath his thin undergarment. His smile was teasing, his manner intent, but there was now the unspoken need for reciprocation on the air.

Her hands were cold as she nervously lowered them, her robe following, gradually revealing her bra clad breasts. She was a large girl and she had been right, there was more excess flesh than perhaps was customary, but he gasped as she revealed herself, and he shook his head slowly in wonder.

"Oh, by the Light..." he moaned, gently parting the rest of the robe so he might see her exposed, every brush of the fabric against her skin shooting bolts of sensation through her body. His breathing deepened, harsher now as he broke into a sweat, pausing his fingers over her pale skin in a mute supplication for permission. She granted it in a gentle nod of her head, her skin screaming now for his touch. She could feel his heat not centimeters away, and she could see just how patently not disgusted he was, and her own fires were stoked to see such a response from him.

His large hand splayed across her abdomen and rode up to grasp one breast as he kissed her, the mass of his body leaning against her now, his heat pressing into her. And his hands began to explore, touching the responsive bud of flesh at the peak of each creamy rise, his own body shuddering as he moved. And she explored him, her hands sliding across his textures as she lay back, granting him further access, revelling in him and forgetting about herself except in how he was making her feel.

And now he was kissing her neck, in behind her ears, murmuring sensually in what she could only assume was Draenic, her mind unable to understand the words, but her body reacting powerfully to his rich voice as she moistened, swelled, softened beneath him. Her hands moved through his hair as he delighted in her, his kisses progressing further down her body, to her chest now as he paused, his hands seeking behind her for her fastenings. She lifted herself accommodatingly, tacitly giving permission, and the bra came away in his hands. He placed it aside and continued his exploration, sucking at her, teasing her nipples to hardness with his tongue as his tentacles writhed lower.

One muscular leg draped over hers, an insistent knee pushing between them as his hands trailed down her, down flanks, to wide hips as he continued to suckle and caress, the culmination of a hundred fantasies being enacted upon her skin as he discovered her pleasures, still murmuring in Draenic when his lips and tongue weren't busy.

She was aching now, needing succour in her secret places when he stopped his travels, leaning over her to kiss her lips again. She could feel the desire in him, see the patch of moisture on his undergarment that was there because of her. It made her feel powerful for the first time in her life, but equally knew she was in his thrall as well. And if he didn't take her soon, she would scream.

"I need... I need..." he breathed, his breath hot on her skin as he caressed her again, eye to eye with her now as he broke away from that kiss. "I haven't ever been... with a human. Let me look at you..." His hand caressed her pubis, warming what was already heated flesh. "I need to know..."

"Then do it!" she insisted, almost groaning in her need of his touch there, thrusting her hips up so he could peel the moistened fabric from her, opening for him without shame as he placed his two hands at the tops of her thighs, studying her opened secrets with blazing eyes.

"Not too different," he murmured tensely. "This is your pleasure spot?" he questioned as he placed a tentative finger at the top of her cleft, circling the tip slowly around and sending her into a frenzy of lust. "So very red." he breathed as he placed a second finger there, lovingly stroking back and forth as she bucked before him. "And here..." his voice broke as he stopped his gyrations, slipping a finger further down to the source of her moisture, gently inserting it into her as he shivered. "Here is where I shall soon be... inside of you..."

He released her now, sliding his weight on top of her as he claimed her again in a lustful kiss, his barely restrained manhood pressing into her swollen flesh as they began their inexorable descent. His heat was maddening, his bulk an intoxicant as she slipped her hands inside his last remaining piece of clothing, wanting to explore him as he had her, but it was too late. He shifted, a hand reaching down, then shifted against her again and it was gone, and they were flesh to flesh, his heat and hers tasting of each other for the first time.

She parted for him, needing to feel him inside her, wanting to feel the rhythm of the heat as she pushed her pelvis against his. He accepted her invitation, entering her slowly, their moans of need the only sound. And he moved, slowly at first as she shifted her hips, taking his all into herself, then faster as he realised she could accommodate his rock hard length, murmuring in Draenic again, his breath hot against her ear as he thrust.

Yet there was something else, something different she slowly became aware of. Something was touching her core, stimulating her pleasure centres even as he moved elsewhere. She moaned as this something stirred her to new heights of passion and she clasped herself around him, nails raking down his back as she tried to find a way to express this mindblowing arousal, feeling him everywhere she was, in all her secret womanhood.

She felt herself shudder as the tension built within her to intolerable levels. Her body and mind were thrown into pure ecstacy, and her muscles bunched and spasmed around him before he too cried out, shuddering with his own release. She felt that secret stimulant leave her then, but he did not, hovering over her solicitously, trailing fingertips through the sweat of her face as he smiled shakily down at her.

"You are... alright?" he asked, the embers of his desire still in his eyes as he looked at her. She boggled then, for she had never been more "alright" in her entire life. Numbly she smacked his arm.

"Oh, Kaik!" she gasped. "What did you do to me?"

He left her now, gathering her into his arms as he lay upon his side, still caressing her cheek as his smile became a grin of delight.

"What I have dreamed of for so long, my love." The words sent a shockwave through her bruised nerves as she realised that was exactly what she was now. "And it was a difficult thing to not ..." He blushed a deep blue. "Controlling myself was a difficult thing, to not... arrive... before your pleasure."

"But... there was something else... " She couldn't describe it. How could she? But his eyes danced with laughter as he shifted slightly, bringing his tail into view.

The tip of it glistened wetly.

"We draenei are full of surprises." he smirked as his tail wiggled emphatically.

She couldn't help but shake her head and laugh. It was just too delicious, her body here against his, still echoing with the power of their joining, and yet here he was, joking as he so often did. It was almost as though this was a normal thing they had done, but it wasn't, was it?


	11. Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the Lighter-than-thou Jalileh is trailed about Shattrath by Lyris the stirring warlock, she encounters Kaikavus and Anina. Words ensue, and Jalileh seeks counsel from the representatives of the Light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In every religion there must be conservatives. Jalileh and the priest she goes to for advice are simply representatives of this, and not what I necessarily see all the worship of the Light to be like.

The damned warlock wouldn't leave her be!

Stormwind's trade district was a bustling place, the narrow cobbled streets packed with buyers and sellers of all kinds of goods and services, and Jalileh wound her way through them with barely restrained annoyance. Why did they make the buildings here so close together? she wondered, glad she didn't have to ride her race's customary mount, the elekk, through here. Why, they'd plough the people down and get stuck on the bridges, she was certain!

She was here on business, picking up supplies en route to the haunted tower of Karazhan, where she would be expected to provide healing and services of the Light to her guild, the Order of Exiles, the next evening, as they attempted to explore the heights and discover the secrets of what the possessed Medivh had left behind. Stormwind was the largest city near the area, and so was the logical place to purchase what she needed.

Yet somewhere along the way, the black robed blonde woman had joined her like some kind of shrunken shadow, seeming to follow wherever she went, that bloody imp chattering away at her side, constantly complaining and whinging. She was a striking looking woman, willowy and with darkly tanned skin Jalileh had never seen accompanying that particular colour hair amongst the humans, but there was a stink of corruption to her, and of course she couldn't forget the horrendous stories she had told at the gathering she had attended a few weeks before.

Sometimes she had to wonder at the wisdom of both Osigian and Ahmunsira, permitting such filth to not only walk amongst them, but to have honoured places in their guilds and friendships. Perhaps someday she could persuade them of what was right and moral.

Walking from the apothecary now, the sun shone down from a clear blue sky. It was spring here in Elwynn, and the city bustled busily about as it shook off the shackles of winter. It wasn't far to the bank from here - just around the block - and the tall draenei woman strode towards her goal, her hooves clacking on the paved streets. She rounded the corner now, seeing the wide marble steps glinting in the steps ahead... and stopped dead in her tracks.

He was a distinctive man, her cousin, his shoulders even broader than many of his kind. He was wearing a long cloth kilt and a shirt today, rather than his customary battle harness, but it wasn't the fact he'd removed himself of the trappings of the fel touched shamans that had caused her to pause. No.

There was a woman beside him; tall for a human, but also more curvaceous than that race tended to run to, with long chestnut hair that spilled down her back. She was standing close to him; too close to him in Jalileh's estimation, and they were laughing together in the manner of the previously intimate, some private joke lighting their faces as they held one another before the world.

Righteous indignation began to flow through her. She was certain she had dealt with this problem, yet here it was again, flaring up for all to see. And oh how they flaunted this illthought relationship of theirs, touching their lips to one another's now, the taller draenei caressing the human's face as he bent to her.

"Kaikavus!" she declared, striding towards them now, her face as dark as a thundercloud. The draenei man broke away as he heard the summons, his expression darkening from the gentle regard he had been looking at his woman with as he stepped out to meet the stridant paladin in the centre of the square.

"Jalileh. We need to talk."

"Just what do you think you are doing?" she demanded, gesturing with an angry hand between the two of them as the other was thrust on to her hip, not even noticing the quiet approach of the smirking warlock behind her. "We have discussed this, and now I see you're gallivanting around with her again? You have your duty to perform!"

"My duty?" he barked. "My duty is to do as the Prophet and Alliance ask me, and the rest of my time is mine...!" He tempered now, looking around the square where shoppers had slowed to gawk at them, the sight of a pair of arguing draenei not common here in this human city. "But we should go somewhere private to discuss this."

"And you!" She turned her indignation upon the shrinking human woman, completely unheeding of the man's words as she strode over to her to loom over her. "You had given your word you wouldn't see him again! But I see your word is worth nothing." She her her head back to glare at the man. "You see what you are dealing with here? She has no honour, she can't even keep her word! She swore to me on the Light she wouldn't see you again, yet here she is, her grotty hands all over you!"

"It was you who brought the Light into this!" the woman hotly retorted, her own indignation causing her shoulders to straighten. "Not me! And that promise you extracted from me was based on lies and inaccuracies, and no one could be expected to live up to a promise based on those!"

"If you were in any way righteous, you would see that what you are doing is wrong and you would get away from him." came the sneering retort. "He's already blinded by these fel spirits he follows, and now you come in here to tempt him with your wiles and have him stray further off the path..."

"Oh, this is wonderful!" the warlock murmured behind them, her eyes glinting wickedly as she watched the scene. Sometimes she just knew when trouble was coming, and her instinct had been dead on today!

"My wiles?" the brunette scoffed, looking down upon herself with obvious distaste, but the draenei man put a hand on her shoulder, tacitly reassuring.

"This is my life, Jalileh," he countered, his expression one of tight control, "And I choose what I do and don't do. Aninae is who I choose. Shamanism is what I choose. You are of the Light, of freedom and choice - I don't understand your problem with that!"

"I do." the warlock chuckled, but none heard her.

The paladin scowled, her eyes blazing as she drew herself up, declaring something in Draenic now which none of the many humans standing around understood specifically, but none missed the meaning in her tone.

Kaikavus paled, his face contorting with fury as he hurled a retort at her, also in Draenic, holding the indignant Aninae to him for a moment before he stalked off, grasping the human's hand.

"You've spent too much time living between her legs!" Jalileh shouted in an ugly tone of voice, but the couple were gone and she was left the centre of attention amongst a crowd of titillated humans. She glared around them now, as though daring them to say anything to her, and they slowly dissipated, going back to their errands until it was only the warlock and the tall draenei left.

The warlock's hazel eyes remained on her, glimmering with amusement, and the paladin snarled at her.

"What?"

"You seriously need to get yourself laid." the blonde observed, shaking her head as she rummaged in a bag. Finally she held out an object to the disgusted paladin, saying, "Here."

It was long and orange, with a string at one end which attached to a small stick.

"Just what is that?" the draenei said, appalled, recoiling from the proffered object as though it were alive and about to strike.

"Carrot on a stick. Good for what ails you. And it really does ail you." the warlock smirked, the imp beside her somersaulting in agreement.

"Ugh!" Utterly repulsed, the paladin strode away, her black skinned face twisted into a scowl of loathing.

Idly, the warlock sauntered on after her, replacing the carrot into a pouch, a brooding smile on her face. Oh yes, this was the most promising piece of entertainment she'd had for months.

* * * * *

It was an odd form of worship these humans had – where was the illuminating glow of the Light? However she did somewhat approve of the wide space before the altar she knelt before. She felt a sore need for space right now.

The encounter with her cousin and his fat human slut, and the constant presence of that warlock had utterly drained her. Seeking solace in the Light had been her last recourse. And so she had sunk down to her knees before her propped sword gratefully, bowing her head as she reaffirmed her devotion to the cleansing Light, knowing the shadow caster would never pursue her in there.

Her course was a true one, she knew. Her cause was righteous. He needed to come back to the draenei, to the Light, and take up the mantle his mother had left him so long before, and to complete the duties others couldn't.

“Excuse me.” The male voice broke into her thoughts, and she lifted her head questioningly. “Ah.” it continued. “Vindicator?” She nodded curtly in reply.

The speaker was one of the Anchorite equivalents which floated about this place like hairy ghosts; a human male with a clipped moustache and grey touched brown hair.

“You look troubled.” this fellow said as he crouched beside her, his robes bunching up on the floor. “I don't know the traditions amongst your kind, but humans find consultation and confession to be a cleansing thing. Would you like to unburden yourself to me, as a conduit of the Light?”

“You people are strange.” she commented, but she straightened herself and sheathed her sword, stretching to her full height. “But, alright.”

The room the man lead her to was a small antechamber off the main cathedral. The room was built from the same mitred stone as the main hall, but rich purple curtains depended from the vaulted ceiling, softening the walls. And in the centre, a small desk and two chairs waited upon a rich purple rug.

The man indicated she was to sit upon one chair, while he swept around to the other and took his place at the far side of the desk.

“So,” he began softly, his voice encouraging. “Unburden yourself to me, my sister.”

The words came hesitantly at first, being unused to confessing to a strange human as she was, but as she talked, the relief became intoxicating, flooding her as only the Light could, and so she released many of her frustrations.

She spoke of her annoyance at not finishing her training with her cousin, how he had left his mentoring to follow the wind. She spoke of her despair at being left alone of all the family to uphold their staunch belief in the Light, without even a child to pass her teachings on to. She spoke of her desperation to save her cousin from becoming Broken, to bring him back to the Light before it was too late. And she spoke of his further sinking into depravity, not even turning to one of his own for the pleasures of the flesh.

“And so,” the human said softly at the end of this litany. “He was due to marry this other woman, this 'Kamineh', you say? But he was tempted away by this other?”

“Not exactly.” she conceded to the now frowning man. “But he was supposed to marry her, the families had it arranged for them long ago. And now he'll never go back to her, not with this Aninae in the picture. Kamineh was so upset she disappeared into the wilds of Shadowmoon Valley and hasn't been seen by us since, though we know she's still working out there.”

“And Aninae? Who is she?”

“A human woman who works in the orphanage in Shattrath.”

“And no manner of vow has been said between them?”

“None that I am aware of.” the Vindicator avowed. “And as his only family, I should have been called on to witness any.”

“I see.” The words were condemningly flat. Then he paused. “Aninae. Why is that name familiar to me?” He paused for a moment, thinking, when a light dawned in his face. “Oh, surely you don't mean Anina Eastman? I'd heard she was working with orphans in Shattrath.”

The dark skinned draenei nodded. “That's her. Aninae Eastman.” And she frowned, noting his dark scowl. “Do you know her?”

“We did our novitiate together. She left the Order some time back in disgrace after she went home to Lordaeron. Apparently she couldn't cope with what she found there.” He tapped a finger on the desktop thoughtfully, his dark eyes stormy. “She should know better than to get involved in anything like this.”

“So humans and draenei aren't that different, after all.” she said, and the human nodded.

“No, not when it comes to morality and purity of spirit.” he replied piously, his lips set in a straight line. “Such a lack of moral fibre is something we need to stamp out now, especially in these war torn times. Now is when we need the inner guidance of the Light, more than ever.”

“I agree.” said the draenei, her eyes aglow with fervour. “Than you for helping me see that there can be sanctity amongst humans. I was beginning to believe you were all fel touched.”

He laughed, shaking his head.

“Oh, I assure you, Vindicator, there are those of us who fight against the fel touched in our own society just as surely as you fight for the soul of your cousin.”

“Good.” Gracefully she stood, bowing slightly to the man. “Thank you, this has been most illuminating.”

“Go in the Light, my sister of the Blade.” he replied. “And rest assured, the humans are as appalled by their behaviour as the draenei.”

He walked to the door and held it open, and the tall woman strode forth, confidence again in her every move.

As the draenei left, a dark robed figure emerged from behind a pillar, her hazel eyes thoughtful.


	12. Revelations and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anina confesses some of her past to Kaikavus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are references to rape and date rape in this. While not explicit, it may be triggering for some.

The streets of Stormwind had gone by at a fast pace since they had left Jalileh behind, and Anina was finding it difficult to keep up with the striding draenei. The grip he kept on her hand was firm, almost crushing, and she knew from that and his demeanour that whatever had passed between the cousins had upset him greatly.

However enough was enough; she wasn't going to be towed through the city any further.

“Kaikavus, stop!”

The grip was abruptly released, and the man turned, his face showing conflicting expressions of anger and contrition.

“I'm sorry, Aninae.” he apologised, his eyes wide with remorse.

She wasn't experienced in these matters, but instinctively knew her lover needed some distraction, something else to think about to soothe this rage which was so foreign to her experience of him. So she pushed herself against him, winding her arms about his solid form and felt a certain relief as he wound his arms about her and sighed. He was so tense against her, she was at a loss as to what to do for him.

“What did she say?” was all she could think of to say – perhaps if he voiced it, they could address it.

His voice was harsh as he replied,

“She called you a slut.” he ground out, the insult he felt at that easily heard in his tone. “She said you'd leave when you'd had your fun with your Eredar.”

She felt her extremities go cold, and her stomach sink.

“That's so very wrong...” was all she could think of to say in reply, fear threatening to choke her. “You don't believe that, do you?”

“No!” He broke away from her, gesturing wildly as he spoke. “Because I know you, while she only knows her own jealousy!”

“Jealousy? I don't understand.”

He sighed heavily, lowering his head for a moment.

“Her husband died in the crash.” His voice was softer now, a true sympathy in him as he shook his head. “And they never had any children, so she's focused a lot of those energies on me, looking to me to keep my mother's family line alive.”

“I suppose she needed something to keep her going.” There came a sense of empathy with the words, for she could guess at how she'd feel if Kaikavus was suddenly taken away from her.

“Her reclamation of me has been a driving concern.” He was obviously calmer now, the time taken to reflect having brought him back towards his normal self. He reached out for her hand now and gratefully she took it, stepping in beside him as they began to slowly walk on. “I think she feels she has little else left.”

“I can't fault her for worrying about you.” Anina said quietly. “But saying these things when she doesn't even know me, and imposing her ideas on you...” Her voice trailed off and she looked away. “I didn't want you upset by her and her friends – that's mostly why I decided to do as she said, before...” She blushed as he looked at her, a small, knowing smile on his face.

“Without asking me what I thought.” he gently chided, and she flushed guiltily.

“I know, I know.”

“You don't need to protect me.” His voice was grateful, despite the words. However, she shook her head.

“Yes, I really do.” she averred, and he chuckled, squeezing her hand in a loving grasp.

“I can handle Jalileh. She will stop this. And she will apologise to you for what she said.” He roughly sighed. “She's a good woman at heart, she just has very rigid ideals of what is right and will do anything to achieve that, in the name of the Light.” Now his tone became softly teasing. “That was mostly why you decided to do as she said? What was the rest, if I might ask?”

Her cheeks coloured slightly. “I... a lot, really. I didn't want you to get in trouble with your guild; I thought it'd be easier for you all 'round if we weren't friends anymore.”

“Not at all.” He didn't elaborate on his words.

“No trouble from your guild, or not easier on you?”

“Both.” He stopped once more, drawing her to him. “Don't ever doubt me, Aninae.” he said, tracing a gentle line along her cheek as he frowned. “And don't doubt yourself. I don't think you understand how wonderful you are.”

She had to look away at that, her face burning hotly as she chuckled disbelievingly. However a large hand guided her back to look at him, his concern and love plain upon his face.

“You really don't.” he marvelled. “Amazing. Did that have anything to do with your decision as well?”

Her silence spoke volumes as she tried to formulate what to say. She wanted to deny it, dismiss it as being silly, but somehow she couldn't.

He heaved a great sigh and drew her in to him, gently touching his lips to hers.

“Perhaps one day I can convince you."

* * * * *

She felt exposed and more than a little embarrassed about standing before this door. Even though she had no sexual intentions, given what had already passed between them, she knew that could quickly change.

Intellectually she knew she wasn't what she'd been called, but standing here she knew she was leaving herself open to further accusations of it – and a part of herself believed them. It was that demon she was coming here to excise.

She could only hope he was still awake, for it was quite late. She'd even heard the innkeeper heading off to bed a few minutes before, but she hadn't been able to sleep; the look on Jalileh's face, the vehemence she had hurled the words with, still haunted her.

So she had redressed and slipped out here into the foyer, and now stood looking at his door with all she wanted to say playing over and over in her mind, willing her courage to stay with her until she was done.

With a weight in her stomach, she reached out with pale knuckles and knocked.

“Yes, who is it?” came the immediate reply – apparently he wasn't sleeping either.

“Kaik, it's me. Can I come in?” She heard a rustling noise from within.

“Of course.”

Like her room, there was precious little furniture in here, just the bed and a rug. Kaikavus was sitting on the end of it, his kilt slightly skewed as though it'd been put on in a hurry, with a blanket draped around his unclad torso. His face showed none of the haziness of sleep as he looked at her, a certain curiosity and – it must be said – anticipation about his welcoming smile.

“Aninae.” His voice was rich as ever, soft and slightly husky as he watched her shut the door behind her. “I wasn't expecting you this late.”

“I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep. Can we talk?”

“Of course!” He shifted slightly across the comforter, making room. “Please, sit down.”

Her attraction to him had hit her the moment she had stepped into the room, but she knew if she gave into it she would never get what she needed to say said, no matter how much she wanted to touch that skin, feel that heat against her...

She shook herself, hoping he didn't notice, and carefully sat as far away as she could from him without seeming rude.

She couldn't look at him. It was easier to talk about this looking away.

“I wanted to talk to you... you need to know something about me.”

“What is it?” He'd turned towards her now, and his voice was concerned.

“I...” She couldn't help the blush that rose up her face. She could feel his eyes upon her, and even at this distance she could feel his presence, smell that faint male muskiness of him, and her pulse quickened with her awareness of him. That just made the nausea worse. Oh please don't reject me... “...want you to know, you aren't the first man I've been with. I've been with two others.”

“I see.” His tone was noncommittal, calm, and his expression, when she glanced at him, hadn't changed. So far so good.

“My first was the man I was going to marry, a long time ago.” The butterflies were still flocking in her stomach, but she managed to swallow them down enough to keep talking. “Philon, his name was. It was before I'd even gone into training to become a priest. Back then, I just wanted to be a good farmer's wife. His wife.” She laughed softly, shaking her head. “I was such a dumb kid.

“We went to the hayloft a few times. First it was just kissing and the like, but we were going to be together forever, so eventually we lay together. I didn't even know it was happening until it was over and he was rolling back off me. And that was what I thought sex was like. I had no idea...” She glanced up at Kaikavus and blushed redly, and he smiled back at her.

“I'm glad you enjoyed it.” he chuckled, but the sensual note in his voice was hard to ignore, and she had to if she was going to get through this. She steeled herself against it.

“The second...” She shook her head, her hands going cold. “I'm much more ashamed of. Philon and I broke up, as you probably guessed, and I went into my training to become a priest. Eventually I was sent to Stormwind to do my novitiate there, and I was so proud. But Stormwind is a big place, only just being rebuilt after the war, and I'd never been so far from home. I was completely alone.

“He was one of the novitiates, and he was so kind to me in those first days. There weren't many women in the Cathedral program, and it was nice to have a friend.”

She couldn't find the words to say what came next, the shame was so great. However there came a sudden warmth to one hand as it was enveloped in one of the draenei's, the touch giving her strength enough to speak on, though she couldn't look at him.

“There's a reason I don't like to drink.” she whispered. “I hadn't really liked the flavour anyway, but... just... not after that.”

“Aninae...” Kaikavus murmured, but she cut him off, the words slowly coming from deep in her soul.

“I remember accepting his proposal to go back to his quarters, and I remember what we did. It's all kind of a blur, but I remember it. I was so horribly sick afterwards. I still remember the taste.” She shut her eyes and shuddered, the vomit flavour welling into her mouth once again. “I don't think I'll ever drink again. It was terrible.

“But it was what he told everyone that was the worst thing. For a long time I was called the Cathedral Mount, and none of the novitiates would leave me alone, no matter how much I told them no. Eventually I was called up before the Bishop and given a warning about my lewd conduct. Even though I never did a thing with any of the others! And never would have!

“So...” And she whispered now, pulling her hand from his as she pushed her hair in behind her ears. “When you told me Jalileh had called me a slut, it struck something of a raw nerve.”

“Who did this thing?” His voice was controlled but deep, and when she looked at him, his face was set. She waved a hand.

“It doesn't matter. He was a few years ahead of me in training, and was sent to Stratholme before the Prince went mad. He's either dead or undead; it doesn't matter who he was.”

“It does to me. Because if I ever meet him, undead or not, he will pay for what he's done to you.”

“I went with him willingly, Kaik.” she sighed, her stomach threatening to empty where she sat. “It's my fault as much as his.”

“He got you drunk so it was hard for you to say no. Didn't he?”

She shrugged, but she knew he was right.

“It's a coward's form of seduction. And to then go and tell everyone else, to put the blame on you... Ah!” He shook his head. “Have you told anyone else about this? That bishop?”

“No. I was too embarrassed.”

He sighed, but his gentle fingertips touched her cheek, turning her to look at him.

“Then thank you for trusting me.” His blanket had slipped a little from his shoulder, but regarded her without noticing, quietly stroking her hair, his eyes deep with some emotion. She found herself blinking away tears as she looked at him, but refused to cry. She'd said what she came to say; just the one question remained.

“Do you think I'm a slut?” Intellectually she knew what the answer was going to be, but she'd never needed to hear something so much as she did at that moment, just to silence the wailing inside her.

“No.” he said definitively, shifting closer to her. “And I thank the Naaru that after this you can still be with me and enjoy yourself.”

Relief flooded her as she took his hand in hers.

“It's almost impossible not to. Do you have any idea...?” She let her voice trail off, letting her silence speak for her. She couldn't help but smile as she saw his face colour.

“Some.” he replied. “It might come as a surprise to you, but you are not my first either.”

“Oh, really? I never would have guessed!” It was a joy to be talking lightly with him after her story. She'd been terrified he would hate her for it, or been jealous. But here he was, still laughing with her, in the old friendly give and take they always had, and she felt blessed. Her burden had been shared, and she was almost euphoric.

“I have been with... a few more than you.” he admitted. “But perhaps it's time for my own confession.

“My youth was filled with quite a few trysts, but nothing lasted very long until I met Kamineh.”

He sighed, and she felt herself sober, seeing him descend into his own memory, watching something bittersweet play across his face.

“She was beautiful and gentle, if a bit thin.” His eyes flashed at her. “And after I met her, I stopped my wandering ways, wanting very much to be with her. I had such a crush on her, I couldn't stop thinking of her.

“My mother was delighted, seeing a chance to have me settle down and perhaps raise a family, so she approached her family, to see if they would be amenable to a child contract being drawn between us.” He laughed softly, looking at their linked hands, gently caressing her fingers with his thumb. “She had a very forceful personality – I think Jalileh would like to be like her, but she doesn't have the steel in her soul mother had developed over her centuries of life.

“Kamineh and her family agreed, for we were good friends even without my crush, and they knew it would be to their advantage. So we tried to make a relationship between us work, to see if a contract would be viable between us.”

He fell silent a moment, his lips quirking to one side. Anina tried to ignore the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach, willing herself to wait until the end of his story before saying anything, instead holding his hand and remembering the devotion to her she had seen in him. That couldn't be faked.

“We are still good friends.” he said softly after a moment, holding her hand a little tighter. “But what I have told no one is that it was she who ended it. By that time I had realised my attraction to her was just a passing thing; though if she had reciprocated, perhaps it might have grown; but we still tried, as our families wanted it so badly. We had tried to make love again when I knew there was nothing between us, but it was she who had the courage to stand up and walk away, telling her family to annul the contract.”

He laughed suddenly, his face lightening with the amusement he felt.

“Oh, my mother was livid with me! I had thrown myself at so many, and I couldn't keep the one she wanted me to have!” He laughed more, his caresses slower now, more deliberate. “But she forgave me in the end, especially when I entered into my shamanistic training with Father Nobundo.

“Kamineh and I met again during the taking of the Exodar, and renewed our friendship. After the crash, I think Jalileh hoped we would attempt a contract again, but we both knew that wasn't going to happen. We explored a lot of Azeroth together, and our own crumbled planet, but that's all it was.”

“What do you think went wrong?” she asked softly.

“Apart from the fact she didn't find me romantically appealing?” he said lightly as he considered. “She wasn't very much fun, and I found out the difference between desiring the outside and loving what was within.”

His slow smile set her cheeks to flaming, and felt his gaze upon her as though it was a palpable thing.

“You don't believe it,” he said softly as he reached out to gently caress her face. “But I consider myself very lucky to have met you, Aninae. Thank you.”

“For what?” She could only whisper, so drawn to him she was.

“Loving me back.”


	13. Investigations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acting on a complaint from Vindicator Jalileh, a priest of the Cathedral of Light investigates the behaviour of one of its members.

“I been here a long time now, mon. A very long time. De kids be needin' a firm hand ta look out for dem, ya know? So I go an' scare others inta lookin' out for dem too coz dey can't for demself.”

The man wrote furiously on his tablet, taking down the troll's words as she spoke them. “I see.” he said, his moustache twitching a little as he wrote. “And how long have you been acting as Matron here?”

The troll scowled, her red eyes on the children milling around rather than the white robed human before her.

“A. Very. Long. Time.” she said in the tone that made children and assistants scatter for miles. “What ya be askin' me dis for?”

“I'm just trying to get some background, Ma'am.” He smiled gently, and the troll woman stepped back a little, though the savage look on her tusked face didn't relax a single iota. “Who appointed you as Matron?”

“I were set here by de Naaru demselves – are ya gonna question dem as not knowin' de Light right too? Why de Cat'edral be wantin' to know about us all of a sudden when ya not be carin' before?” she growled, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Well, to be honest with you, Matron Mercy, we've received a complaint, and it's the Church's duty to investigate such.” He held up a hand as the troll began to swell up with fury. “Not against you, my dear woman, but as the nominal leader of this place, I do need to ask you your opinions on things.”

“I not be answerin' not'in' if ya not be telling me what dis all be about, mon!” she spat. “We work wit' de children ya high an' mighty Stormwind Orphanage not be wantin' to touch, wit' not'in' but what we got. So if ya want ta find out more from me, ya got ta tell me what dis be about!”

The priest paused, his brown moustache twitching a little as he considered the troll woman looming over him, and made another note on his tablet.

“Why they made a troll the Matron here, I have no idea.” he sighed, and she bared her tusks, gathering up for another outburst. “Alright!” he continued. “Although I can already start to see why this has happened, given your propensity towards outrageous and inappropriate conduct, I can tell you there's been a complaint about one of your assistants. Her morality has been called into question, and when I find that this complaint is justified, then I will be calling on you to do something about it. Can you do that without killing everyone... Matron?” The final word was drawn out, deliberately enunciated so that the troll rocked back on her bare heels.

“What ya be accusin' dem of? Spendin' too much time wit' de kids an' not enough on dere own lives?” she spat incredulously. “An' anyt'in' else, and I be killin' dem meself, I guarentee! Ya can be talkin' to dem yeself soon, dey be back wit' de older ones, but I can tell ya, I know me girls, dey be de best t'ing for de kids I ever be seein'! Now ya get out o'here, ya be upsettin' de little ones wit' ya shit!” She spun him around in her large hands and gave him a savage push away from the building. “Ya come talk ta me when ya got somet'in' real ta say! An' I tell ya, dere be not'in ta find!”

“Thank you, Ma'am. You've been most helpful.” An ironic bow, a final notation on his tablet, and the man left.

“Spirits help me.” Mercy growled in Trollish, her muscles trembling with the effort it'd taken to not just lean back and smash his face. “I t'ink I jus' made t'ings real bad for one o'dem.” And she fished out her hearthstone from a pocket.

* * * * *

“And you've been guild leader for now long now?” The priest nodded encouragingly at the night elf man before him, who looked at him steadily.

“Over two years now. Before that, we were two separate Orders, but decided we would achieve our goals better if we were together. I was given the honour of leading us to where we are now.” His voice was soft, considered, but held a hint of steel within it.

“I see.” He made a notation. “And do you find having two factions within your guild difficult to handle?”

“The Order of Exiles are a family, Brother.” He didn't move a muscle as he spoke, fully in control of himself as he looked down at the smaller human. “And as in any family, there will sometimes be those who don't do as we'd like. But eventually everyone comes together and we achieve the tasks the Alliance requires of us.”

The priest made a note.

“And what of individual transgressions? How do you handle those?”

“We have a policy in place, and our officers enforce those when it's needful. Generally it's not, as we trust our Warguards to live up to a high standard. And with that trust, they generally do.”

“In what ways?” Scribble, scribble.

“Exclusion from work, excommunication, and in the worst cases, exile.”

“Exiled from the exiles. I see.” He chuckled at his own little joke, his thick lips quirking beneath his moustache. “What kinds of crimes warrant these kinds of punishments?”

“If you want to see a copy of our Code of Conduct, I can give you one.”

“I would appreciate that.” He didn't even look up as he continued to write. The night elf frowned, the muscle in his jaw beginning to clench. “But in your own words, please.”

“The Order works on a policy of honour and respect. If Warguards don't respect the rights of others, then they are punished. This includes insults and theivery.”

“And what of moral transgressions?” The priest looked up now, his brown eyes keen.

“This is a guild of more than one culture, Brother.” the night elf warned, his face setting into deep lines of dislike. “What is moral for one might be immoral for another. So we feel that as long as no one else's rights are being impinged on, Warguards can determine their own morality, as they see fit.”

“And what if you know they're going against the morals of their own people?”

“I think that choice is up to them. As long as they harm no one in the process.”

“I see.” A long series of notes were put on to the tablet, and the human sighed. “Now, I wanted to ask you about one individual's activities.” He looked up again, and again that certain keen look was in his brown eyes. The night elf repressed a snarl as he saw it.

“Which individual?” he said flatly, having sensed there was more to this meeting than the simple “Touch Base” the priest had originally said it would be.

“The draenei shaman known as Kaikavus.”

“What about him?” Those who knew the warrior would know that this priest had just stepped on to dangerous ground; one didn't question the friends of this man without justification, and his curt tone reflected that.

“The Cathedral has received reports that he's been behaving in a manner not entirely fitting a man of his station.”

The night elf's face became completely incredulous.

“You are joking. Or you're not talking of the man I know.”

“Then you're saying he's not taken up with a human woman, then?”

The elf laughed, a flash of joy crossing his face for a moment before it became deadly serious once more.

“Is that what this is about? Kaikavus and Anina?”

“So you know about it?”

“I do, and what's more I support it, wholeheartedly. Because I know my friend, and he would treat her with the utmost respect and love he could give. I say good for them to have found each other!”

“Without marriage?”

“I support them with or without marriage, because there's more to being bonded to one another than laws and regulations. When they're ready to do that, they will, but as far as I am concerned, they are already mated. Why make it harder for them by bringing rules into it yet?”

“An elf would say that.” He made a note, but then gasped as the tablet was slapped out of his hands, hitting the wall with such force it shattered.

"I can see that this is what you've been guiding this conversation to.” the night elf intoned, drawing himself up to his full height. “And let me tell you this – this guild will stand behind them, because I do. Leave them alone now.”

“I wonder what your human members will think of that?” The priest bowed slightly from the waist, and gathered up the pieces of his tablet. “Thank you for your time.”

“Get out.”


	14. Accusations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Investigation becomes accusation, and Anina is called to answer at the Cathedral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is, of course, all about the power of rumour and investigation, and just how fallacious "Innocent until proven guilty" can be for the accused.

The side on glances and the murmuring behind her; the laughter and the blushes; they were all beginning to wear her down.

“Have you heard that the Cathedral of Light are investigating her? I mean, they even talked to the children she works with for over an hour. Did you know she sleeps with them?”

“Really?”

“Well, in the same room as them. On a trundle bed, of all things... Shhh, here she comes. Hi, Anina!”

All too often she was met with silences and all too bright greetings, and it was getting harder to raise her head and simply ignore it. Ever since she'd returned from Stormwind, it was getting worse.

The stupid thing was that it wasn't even as though the rumours were about her connection to Kaikavus. No, they seemed to cover a wide variety of suppositions, from her conduct with the children to certain immoralities she and the other attendants shared. And of course standing up and trying to put the record straight just made the titillation factor worse. On the few occasions she'd tried this, she'd known from the ring of smirks around her that the audience just had something new to spread around.

How and why the Cathedral had become involved in this she had no idea. The hurried call she and Nicole had received from an aghast and apologetic Mercy was simply the beginning of an all new line of supposition and innuendos, and the two of them entered into a strange world of lies and gossip, where whispers and giggles followed them around like poltergeists.

Anina had been here before, and knew the damage this kind of thing caused. She still felt it, the old accusation, burning deep inside her. It was that which set her cheeks to flaming whenever she saw the looks, not shame about her conduct now. The only thing she might conceivably have done wrong was to have given in to passion before making a vow to Kaikavus, yet while she wasn't morally correct in doing so, she was right given what they were and their circumstances, so even that didn't eat at her too much.

However, the problems this was causing now, and not only to herself but to others around her, were beginning to wear her down. Sleep was becoming a fleeting friend at best. It was only a matter of time before the whispers prevented sleep completely.

Behind her, the whispers and speculative looks began anew, when they thought she wasn't watching.

* * * * *

The Orphan Matron was an impressive looking woman, and when she drew herself up to her full height, she towered over most of those who came into her orbit. She had drawn herself up now, her red eyes flashing with the promise of imminent explosion.

“What ya be doin' here again, mon?” she cried at the brown haired priest, who was finding it hard to hide his smirk in behind his moustache this time. “Din' I be tellin' ya ta get lost unless ya had somethin' real ta say?”

“Yes, actually I do remember that, Matron Mercy.” He held out a vellum scroll in one soft hand, and the troll snatched it up, fury burning in her eyes.

“Ya don' even have de guts ta talk to her face ta face, ch'yeah? Lettin' all de talk go by – what kinda holy man ya be?” she said, waving the scroll around as though it was a weapon. “Ya corner Nicole an' de kids, but ya don' have de courage ta talk ta Aninae yeself, ya coward!”

“Actually,” he said smoothly. “If you'd actually read that parchment instead of wanting to hit me with it, you'd see that it's an official summons for her to come to answer the allegations at the Cathedral of Light. After all, everyone has the right of appeal.”

“Appeal. Ya'd already made ya decision before ya even started investigatin', ya piece o'shit! Get de Nether out of my orphanage!”

“Of course.” He bowed slightly, though kept his wary eyes on the troll woman. “Oh, and just so you know, Matron, we're looking at having the human children removed from your care. To lessen the burden on you and your stretched resources, of course.”

Her voice dropped dangerously low even as she began to swell up with unmitigated fury.

“Ya be tryin' ta take de human kids away from de only home dey know because ya be a small an' vindictive man. Don' t'ink I don' know what be goin' on here, ya weasel! I only not be smashin' ya face into me wall because I know what dat do to me kids. Now get out o'here before I be forgettin' who I be and rememberin' all too well what ya be!”

With a smirk, the priest bowed and swirled away, his shoulders straight and head held high. Mercy glared after him, wanting nothing more than to tear it off.

* * * * *

“Please, be seated.”

Only Anina and Kaikavus had been allowed into the chamber, their supporters left milling around in the Cathedral outside under the wary eyes of the holy folk who populated this place.

They stood together, the draenei man's head held high as he looked around their surroundings, while Anina's slumped, seemingly only the man's presence keeping her going at all, so embarrassed and belittled she appeared.

The priest who guided them in was a familiar one to her. She vaguely remembered him from their novitiate as one of the shy ones, the quiet ones who said nothing if they could help it. He certainly didn't seem shy now. Today he was the Hand of the Church, and his gestures were magnanimous and broad as he filled that role.

Together they sat on the bench they were directed to, before a small desk the priest swept around beside. A scribe already sat in place, his young face serious as he readied himself to note what happened in this meeting of import.

“The question we have had to face here is a case of morality and the example it sets for the children in your care.” He didn't even bother to greet them, but simply swept into his opening statement as he sat down upon his chair, clasping his hands before him. “From what I can gather from the reports, your bond appears to be a true one, if somewhat illadvised.

“However the facts remain.” He counted out on his fingers. “You have been warned about this kind of conduct before. You are...” He coughed delicately. “Shall we say you are engaged in a physical relationship without being in wedlock? You are working in a delicate industry where your conduct is a prime example for these young ones to imitate.” Now he smiled grimly as he turned towards the glowering draenei man.

“There is also the matter of your fiancée, Kamineh. You have abandoned her for this... fling.”

“Have you spoken with her?” Kaikavus interjected, but was waved silent.

“It is the opinion of the Cathedral, therefore, that while you are both adults and of course entitled to your own choices, the choices you have made are inappropriate for those who work with children. This has been encouraged by the lack of leadership and moral compass both of you experience within your respective organisations, and the Church will be recommending reforms to each.

“As such, it is our recommendation that you either put aside your relationship, or be replaced within the orphanage.”

“What?” Anina gasped as Kaikavus took her hand. “You're not even going to force us to marry?”

“If there wasn't a fiancée in the picture, that certainly would have been an option.” the moustachioed priest said equitably.

“We haven't been affianced in years!” Kaikavus declared, but the priest again waved him back down.

“From my research into the draenei ways, once a contract is drawn, both families must agree for it to be broken. Yours does not.”

“That is wrong – my mother did agree, and she was the one who drew the contract in the first place. Jalileh had nothing to do with this!”

“Your mother isn't here to ask now though, is she?” He spread his hands helplessly. “I am truly sorry, but according to the investigative findings of the Church...”

“No you're not, Barden.” Anina said, stunned, her voice strained with the injustice.

“Oh, I really am, Anina.” he said, for the first time looking directly at her, his face prim and set. “I really thought you meant it when you said you'd not be with anyone until marriage. I accepted that and was one of the few who believed you. Do you remember?” His eyes raked over Kaikavus, his mien breaking to show his disdain for just a moment, and he sighed. “Now I see it was just a rejection of me. It had nothing to do with your personal purity.”

“What?” Anina was plainly confused, racking her memory for any hint of what he might be referring to, but Kaikavus slowly stood, his eyes stormy.

“Don't make any slur against her again.” he warned, leaning over the table towards the priest. “Or you will be sorry.”

“You do realise she's already been chastened by the Church for her immoral behaviour?” His voice was smooth, even pious.

“We both know that accusations and the truth are often mutually exclusive.” he replied. “You infer that again, and I will forget the respect I have for you as an officer of this institution.”

“You asked me to go to the Blue Recluse.” Anina said softly, her eyes far away. “You were so insistent too, so eager. It was totally unusual for you; you were normally so quiet, especially when you were around Gorsel...” She paled as she returned to focus. “By the Light, what did he tell you about me?”

His face didn't change expression, but he turned a soft pink.

“I think I can guess.” she said in a sick tone of voice.

“If you do not comply with the Church's recommendation,” the priest continued now, looking away from the slumped woman. “While we cannot enforce sanctions against the individual known as Kaikavus, we shall be forced to excommunicate Anina Eastman forthwith. As a former member of this Order, you are held to a higher standard than most others.”

“You'd shut me out of the Church because of your jealousy? Because I didn't go out with you fifteen years ago?”

“No, because the example you give to the children in your care is a poor one.”

“I think the people who have actually seen her working with the children would disagree.” Kaikavus intoned, his face dark, everything about him carefully controlled.

“The Church disagrees.”

“Only because it has your word only to go on. We will be appealing this decision, and requesting another investigator.”

“As is your right, of course.” The brown haired man smiled, raising to his feet. “But you know that while you indulge out of wedlock, Anina's prior warning will hold sway. And while in the eyes of the Church you are engaged to Kamineh, you cannot marry. I'd recommend you attend to that. Go in the Light, both of you.” And he smiled as he moved towards the door.

“You're a rotten little bastard.” Anina snarled as she pushed her way off her seat. “You manipulative swine. You're just doing this to get back at me, aren't you?”

“No.” And he opened the door for her. “Unlike you, I can rise above myself and my needs and think of the greater good..”

Kaikavus said something in Draenic, glaring at the man as he followed Anina out through the doorway and into the Cathedral proper.

“Oh mon, it be bad...” came Mercy's strident tone, but they didn't hear her. Instead, Kaikavus turned to Anina and said,

“We will appeal this.”

“Why bother?” she laughed sourly. “He'll just find another way to get his point across. They're such a tight knit group here, you have no idea!”

“We need to find Kamineh.” Kaikavus replied. “And have her convince Jalileh of the way things really are.”


	15. Tethers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Driven to despair, Anina considers suicide rather than bring further pain to Kaikavus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, this has references to suicide and depression.

It would be so easy to just step off and allow herself to fall. That fear had been conquered soon after learning to levitate, but all her reagents had been deliberately left behind her in the tent. An iron band gripped her heart as she realised who it would be to find them. Would he realise the relevance immediately, she wondered, or would it come to him later when he was deep in grief? He wasn't a stupid man; she knew sooner or later he would know, and it would make his pain so much more.

In the end though, it would be easier for him without her. It was going to be easier for them all without her; Mercy and the orphanage, Kaikavus, all of them. She'd caused so much damage, left so much hurt behind her, that without her at least they could eventually get some semblance of life back. It would be her last gift to them, taking away this problem.

There would be pain, she knew, and regretted that. Especially for Kaikavus. The thought this was going to cause him even more hurt was agony beyond words. But he would get over it, and he would move on, sooner or later.

Would she hit the awnings of the Arrakoan settlements, or the ground? Perhaps the trees. The ground beneath her feet was damp, the earth cool beneath her bare feet as she stood at the cliff edge, looking into the city far below. It would be easier if she could leave nothing behind for people to try to resurrect, but the thought of walking into a furnace was repellent, even at this extremity of despair. She simply wouldn't accept the attempts to bring her back. Even if it was Kaikavus who...

Tears rolled down her face, cooling in the breeze which whipped past her. Surely he'd understand. Of everyone she knew and had known, he would understand. All she wanted to do was sleep. She had reached the end of her tether; she was worthless, nothing she could do was right, there was nothing she could do to fix it for anyone, except this. And they'd all get something they wanted. He'd get freedom, hope, a future. The orphanage would be rid of their morality problem, and she'd get to sleep. Finally, blessedly, to sleep.

“Don't you dare do that to him!” The alien accent cut through her despair like a storm ripped through fog, and blearily she looked around for the source of that female fury. “You think that killing yourself is going to redeem him? Or yourself? And you dared to call yourself priest!”

“What other choice have you left me?” She saw her through her tears – it was Jalileh, on the back of her armoured griffon, its eagle head tossing in the wind as the draenei upon its back glared her down. “You and your friends from the Cathedral! They're threatening to have the orphanage shut down or sanctioned because of me! Kaikavus is a mess, he's trapped between me and the guild – it'll just be better all round if I'm gone.” She hooked her toes over the edge of the drop, taking a shuddering breath.

“You take one step further and I'll put a Blessing of Protection on you – just how dignified will you look bouncing all the way down, eh?”

“I don't care!”

“And how is this going to help him, anyway? Will this save his soul? Keep him from the harms you've already inflicted on him?” She repressed a sob to hear this, all her pain welling into her throat. By the Light, if she was gone, he could recover... “No. The fool's in love with you.” the Vindicator drove on, her voice flat and enraged. “All this is going to do is remove you from your pain. But what about his? He'll have to live with his shame and your death! What do you think that's going to do to him? Will it bring him back to the Light? To Kamineh? No. It's going to drive him into himself, to his Spirits even more, perhaps even to the same selfish place you're in now! Because it is selfish. You can say whatever you want about it, but this is all about you and nothing about him!”

“That's not true...” She'd gone cold, every one of the Vindicator's words an arrow's shaft into her shaking body.

“Of course it's true!” Jalileh spat back. “You can't cope, so you kill yourself! What a noble and fine gesture of love that is! At least leaving him would be more courageous – you'd have to face the consequences of your actions then!”

“Oh, by the Light...” She raised her hands to her face, sinking into herself. “What am I going to do?”

“Be an adult, stop running away from your mistakes.” came the flat reply.

“Get out of here, Jalileh!” A new voice, a sinkingly familiar one, sounded across the clifftop as something warm and solid wound itself around her, clutching at her, pulling her away from the edge. “Leave us alone!”

“Some thanks I get for calling you.” the woman snapped. “And so you know, I have had nothing to do with what the Cathedral has done to you. They've done their own investigating...”

“Go away!” He bellowed, his entire body given to the effort as he flailed at the Vindicator.

She could feel tears on her face, tears that weren't hers, cooled by the wind of the griffon's wings as Jalileh flew away, and he gripped her tightly, shaking against her.

“Aninae, what were you thinking?” he murmured as he stroked her hair. “Never do that. Please don't do that. I'd rather you left me first.”

“I just want to fix things.” she wept, holding him tightly.

“That won't fix anything!” He began to rock her, as caught in her pain as in his own. “Oh Aninae, it wouldn't fix anything...”

They held each other on that windswept bluff, tied to one another, bound together by what they had to face. If she had fallen, so too would he. There had to be another way.


	16. What Doesn't Kill You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anina decides to go home to Lordaeron - still the Plaguelands. Kaikavus accompanies her, but at a very high cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a little violence in this chapter.

“There is nothing I would not do for her. Nothing.” Kaikavus' voice echoed hollowly in the old chapel as he sat with his head in his hands, staring into nothingness while those around him wondered what to do. He had been babbling like this for a while now, his despair apparent to all who saw him. Someone had placed a blanket about his shoulders, but none knew how to get him out of this shock. “But what can I do for her now?"

* * * * *

Why she'd wanted to come to Lordaeron now, after everything else, he didn't really understand. Things were already grave enough without adding a visit to the undead ravaged Plaguelands to the mix. Yet he couldn't deny her it, especially when it was the first inkling of interest he'd had from her in weeks. She'd spent so much time slumped into herself, just sitting in the tent staring off into space or lying on their bed doing the same, that while he worried about the ramifications of her choice he was glad that she'd shown an interest in anything at all.

There was little more he could do in the search for Kamineh, especially now that Anina was in such need of him. He felt so helpless; all he could do was send letters to Kamineh now, asking her to please come back when she was able. He knew she was still alive – the guild still received reports from her, and the Aldor at the Altar of Sha'tar knew she was well, but as she was working in secret, they couldn't divulge where she was. He'd approached them as well, hoping to at least get a message through to his friend, and the Aldor Vindicators had promised they'd do what they could. It was all just a matter of time and luck now.

Aninae's decision to go to Lordaeron, however, had seemingly come out of nowhere. For the longest time all he could do was hold her as she sank deeper into herself, sometimes weeping, sometimes in unmoving silence. She would apologise to him for her distraction in those times she came back to herself, but there was no need. He had seen the depths she plumbed on that cliff top, and was grateful she hadn't succumbed to that; apology wasn't needed for what she felt. If coming to Lordaeron would help her come out of this depression she was in, then he would be there with her.

* * * * *

“Why did she come back here? I don't know, she couldn't even tell me.” He was whispering now, looking into his lap, those around him still at a loss as to what to do.

* * * * *

The Plaguelands were a haze of brown dust as they rode. Aninae's horse had gained weight during its long stabling, but she had only laughed as she adjusted the gelding's barding – a relief to Kaikavus' ears – and said it was just like its mistress. Affectionately she'd slapped its flank and they'd ridden off together, out from Light's Hope and off towards Corin's Crossing, where the intent was to veer off the roadways and find her old farm.

There was more to it than simply to check what the Argent Dawn had done with her childhood home, the shaman knew it. The spirits were unsettled around her, he could hear their whispers of upset. They weren't scared or threatening, but her cloak of negativity had them riled, and he felt them swirling about her in a frenzy of activity. Whatever it was, she was more upset by this journey than she was outwardly showing.

“It's such a shame what's happened to this place.” he said softly, looking around the dead forest they rode through, the brittle pine tree skeletons they rode past sad cenotaphs to suffering. “It must have been beautiful.”

“It was home.” she replied simply, sighing as she turned in the saddle to look at him. “A few scattered farms, a couple of towns. It was always a real outing to go into Corin's Crossing for a visit and see some different people. And the forest was green and cool – a lovely place to hide for a few hours when you were nine years old and trying to duck out of chores a while.”

“I doubt you ducked out of too many of those.” His chuckle sounded hollow in the dusty air, but she smiled a little in kind.

“Probably more than you'd think. I had more important things to go and do than milk the cows or feed the chickens.”

“Pick flowers and dream of other places?”

“Sometimes.” she admitted, bringing her horse in alongside his green barded elekk so she might touch his leg. “Thank you for coming here with me. It's hard to see it like this.”

“You are most welcome.” The rote words didn't do justice to the honour he felt as he covered her hand with his, being trusted enough to bear witness to whatever she had come here to do. Even if it was just to help give her strength, he was pleased to be able to provide it, especially after being able to provide so little else recently. “So what did you do other than feed the chickens and milk the cows?”

She chuckled once, a faint blush touching her cheeks. “It's silly.”

“Not to me, it's not. And it wasn't to you then.”

“I used to practise being a housewife. I'd gather up bark and leaves and seeds and make them into mud stews. My mother used to get so mad with me when I came home all mucky because I'd lie on the ground and look up into the sky, thinking about who I'd marry and what I'd name my children. I was going to have seven, you know.” She rolled her eyes at her childhood innocence, shaking her head at her folly.

He sighed, grasping her hand.

“I'm sorry I can't father the children you deserve.”

“There are other compensations.” she shrugged, the tender sound of her voice pulling at him anew.

“Have you thought any more about...” He allowed the question to hang in the air, for she was already shaking her head.

“No, Kaik. I've given you my reasons.”

* * * * *

“I was going to make my vow to her; I should have given her my vow. I had prepared for it, but she loved me too much to take it. How can someone be that way? Love you so much she won't tie you to her? She always felt so unworthy.”

* * * * *

The creatures were all over the place. The further they rode away from Light's Hope Chapel, the more frequently they found themselves chased by the hideously altered creatures of these plague affected lands. The wolves of the area were now demons, the bats monstrous and no longer nocturnal. Most seemed to know well enough than to attack the well trained shaman, but Anina was almost knocked from her saddle more than once. Together they fended off these attacks, but the frequency of them was starting to concern him. They still had a long way to travel, and she was already wearing the strain badly.

It was the undead which affected her the most, he realised. As it should be; many of them were people she had grown up with, and to see them so hideously altered, turned into gibbering ghouls that only sought to rend flesh, would be beyond horror. With a flash of insight, he wondered if she sought her family amongst them.

He resolved to keep closer to her, and reined his elekk in.

“We should avoid Corin's Crossing.” he said to her, his tone firm but gentle. “The last time I was there it was... not pleasant.”

“No.” That hopeless note was creeping back into her voice, and he gritted his teeth against it. “I went there last time. It wasn't then, either.”

They were going to meet more of the random creatures that once populated these forests, but there was nothing for it. It was either that or the certainty of the many creatures waiting within the fallen town, and Kaikavus preferred the better odds the forest gave. So he swung his elekk about, ready to step off the road, but she shook her head, pointing southwest.

“We'll need to go along the lake.” she said, turning her mount the correct way. “There's a crack in the earth to the north, we won't be able to pass that way.”

“Of course.”

* * * * *

“They took her right from my hands, right from me, and I couldn't do a thing. Too many of them, just too many.”

* * * * *

He should have seen it coming. He felt the fleeing of the spirits from the lakeside, and could see the corruption in the ones native to the place, tossing back and forth in the polluted water as though seeking escape. He could see the instability about them and kept himself between them and Anina, knowing they wouldn't hesitate to attack, they had been driven so mad by the corruption about them.

He almost didn't see the two figures on horseback ahead of them, but caught a whiff of stench through the dusty air that caused his elekk to rear. The animal was too well trained to do more than that, but the sound attracted their attention, and as one the two figures turned to face them.

“Anina, run!” He didn't know quite what prompted his outcry save an overwhelming sense of dread emanating from these two, but he was off the elekk and between them before he could fully formulate his thought. They were a threat and he had to protect her; there was nothing more to it than that.

It was her hesitation that cost her. A beat too far in reacting to her lover's warning and she was in front of him, and though her horse stopped, she was vulnerable.

They moved so fast, he almost couldn't believe it. They were on her, their mounts prancing alongside as they moved, huge swords swinging around in a black blur.

A splash of red burned briefly in the dusty air, then sank into the parched and browned earth as Anina sank to the ground, her horse scattering off into the distance.

“Naaru, no!” He had seen friends fall in battle before, but had never experienced anything quite like this. He was paralysed by the sight for a moment before he ran to her, cradling her against him. He had almost chosen revenge, seeking to blast them with lightning, but as in all things, she was his first priority. She couldn't be allowed to just lie there. The sight made him sick.

“What of the other?” The voice was flat, almost metallic through the helmet it wore, and its companion laughed without amusement.

“Disgusting, isn't he? Blue skins. So awfully sentimental.” This one wore no helmet, showing his long pointed ears and flowing platinum hair.

“You leave her alone...” Kaikavus warned, his face wet with tears. There was no point in calling on the Ancestors to restore her yet, not with them still here, but to put her back on the ground...

The pale elf smirked and almost casually flicked a hand. Around him the ground rumbled and erupted with clawing bodies. The stench of corruption grew worse as these ghouls shambled to the draenei's side and he had no choice but to let her go, taken by the ghouls' claws. He desperately dropped a totem and the smell worsened as the rotting flesh began to cook and sear in the magma totem's waves.

“Ahh, one has to admire his fervour.” the elf chuckled as he moved his horse to better see the fight, watching as the big man was pulled back, undead hands clamping about his arms and legs. “But he's really not suitable for our purpose. Her, however... Yes, I do think the Master will want to have a word with her. It's unusual to find a priest outside the protection of her Church. It's really rather delicious.”

“Leave her alone!” Kaikavus cried, but his spells were being thwarted, the lightning wouldn't channel. There were too many of them, too many hands, too powerful, and he felt himself sinking beneath them. It was all he could do to keep himself healed, to give himself hope of reaching her...

“Put him out of his misery, won't you?”

He didn't see the lowering of the helmeted one's blade. He only felt the connection with his skull, heard a ringing tone, then felt himself slide from absolute agony into nothingness.

“You'll never see her again.” was the last thing he heard.

* * * * *

“I couldn't do anything. They were gone, she was gone, there was nothing I could do. Nothing... nothing...”

He held his head in his hands, rocking back and forth slightly, finally going silent as he gave himself to hopelessness.

“How long has he been this way?” The lilting female voice was soft with compassion, but he was too far gone to feel the cool fingertips placed against his face.

“Since we resurrected him and brought him back here, Ma'am. Maybe an hour or two?” The man wearing the silver sun on black tabard shrugged.

A sigh.

“Kaikavus? Kai, listen to me.”

He continued to rock, but gentle hands wound around his arms.

“Kaikavus...”

“Kamineh?” His eyes came into focus on her – she knelt before him, her hands grasped about his biceps – and tears began to well. “You've arrived too late!” he told her. “She's gone.”

“I know, Kai. I know.” his friend replied. “You can get her back. Just not like this.”


	17. Makes You Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anina Eastman meets her destiny, while Kaikavus resolves to find her, no matter what.

Interlude 1  
She adjusted her robes once more, looking critically down at herself. It had been a long time since she'd worn these “Prophecy” vestments, and though the cloth had a lot of give, it was tighter than she liked across her hips and breasts.

Yet it felt good to be wearing it again, a tangible reminder that she had once meant something. Had she made a difference? No. But she had helped to keep the one bearing Ragnaros' full fury alive whilst wearing these robes, and that had to mean something.

The decision to go back to Lordaeron had been a long time in the making, and now she was acting upon it, it seemed the right thing to do to wear these power infused robes, so she might be at least useful in the journey. She had been going to make the journey by herself, but Kaikavus insisted he was coming along as well. Of course she couldn't deny him, even if she couldn't tell him the full truth as to why she was going home. She couldn't, as her plans were still only half formed.

Despair had been a constant foe for all this time, and she had spent days either thinking or trying not to think. Thought brought self condemnation, the little voices speaking of how bad she was, how she had brought pain to those she cared for. She had to ride it out, allow it to pass, as she couldn't allow herself to get to the state she had reached on that cliff top again. Kaikavus had made it abundantly clear in tear strained words that to do that would be to kill him as well, and so she let it pass, falling into a deep lassitude by necessity.

The realisation she had to face the root of her despair had come early one morning as she lay awake yet again in the cold light of the predawn, Kaikavus' arm lovingly draped across her. It was memory which drove her inner darkness, not what was actually happening now. Yes, she had left the orphanage and been declared persona non grata by the Church until the appeal was held, but she had Kaikavus, and he was almost enough to keep her buoyed. If it wasn't for the things in her past, she might have weathered this better.

The key was in Lordaeron, she thought, pushing down the memories which crowded in behind it, and the associated guilt and fear. She would see the state of her family home for herself and perhaps, if she could face it, venture on to the ruins of Stratholme. Demons did more damage when left to hide in the dark, and she meant to drag them screaming out into the Light.

She paid no heed to the little voice deep inside which whispered, And if anything happens to me while I'm there, it won't be my fault...

One last adjustment of her robes and she nodded. It was now or never, and Kaikavus was waiting for her.

* * * * *  
Interlude 2  
There was pain in the memory. There always would be. The blur of the swords, the splash of red – they were seared indelibly in his mind. His Aninae was gone, she had slipped through his fingers in the sifting sands of time far, far too soon.

In the quiet moments he could feel her, a missing part of himself the rest of him ached for, and so he prepared. There was a bond between them, even if she had never accepted it. He had prepared himself for the eternal vow without her knowing, undergoing the fasting and requisite meditations, attuning himself only to her. That was left hanging, unreciprocated, but it was a tie to her, and he could use it to find her. Their mutual affection and their physical joining would also tie him to her.

He would find her. And he would call on the Ancestors to help him.

The fire was lit, and he knelt before it, inhaling the smoke. His breathing slowed, heartrate dropping as he focused, chanting the mantra to fix himself upon her in order to see...

His inner eye opened.

Blackness shot with grey surrounded him. He floated in space, not here, not there, the darkness around him a tangible presence, plucking at his clothing, ruffling his hair, pushing thickly against him as though the very air itself was slime.

_Join us._ it whispered.

_Never_ he replied, instinctively pulling away from that presence.

_You'll never see her again. We made sure of that. She is no longer in your place._ Cold, echoing laughter reverberated through his body, and he shook his head.

_I will find her!_

_And where will you look?_

The vision changed, the grey became pitch black and the viscosity became absolutely nothing. The air dissipated around him and there was nothing to breathe, no pressure at all. An intense ache started in his head and body – his own self was seeking to fill the void. He began to tumble in freefall as he reached to his temples, pushing against the ache in his skull. He was unable to stop himself in the frictionless atmosphere and he screamed into nothingness...

His physical eyes opened, and he took a shuddering breath, falling over on to his side.

* * * * *  
“I wish you didn't have to go, Kai.” There was a certain sweetness about this robed woman, the vulnerability he remembered fondly as the main focus of his crush so long ago. She sat upon his pallet sadly watching him with her glowing eyes. “But I know you have to.”

He touched her face with gentle fingertips.

“I wish you had known her, Kamineh. You would love her as well.”

“I probably would. You tend to make good choices in friends.” The tone was understated, but there was a subtle teasing in her crinkled eyes. He snorted a soft laugh as he ruffled her hair, and she sighed, pushing it back into place. “I don't understand what is entailed with your ritual, though.”

“The spirits are unsure of where she is.” He frowned as he tried to explain. “They couldn't show me where she was, and I was in the void between worlds, between realities, even. But I can join with them briefly, and through my link with her they can find her, and take me to her.”

“It doesn't sound safe.” she replied dubiously.

“It's not. ” he replied. “And if she has been moved between realities, there's little chance I can bring her home even if I can make it to her. This will probably be our final goodbye. But I have to do this.”

She made a soft sound as she glanced away, obviously trying to get control of herself as she knelt before him, clasping him in a soft embrace. He returned it, his heart in his throat.

“In case you can come back,” she said softly, her voice somewhat choked, “I have spoken to Jalileh, and she's officially rescinded the contract for the Cathedral. She's really not happy.”

“She can stay that way.” he replied sourly. And Kamineh laughed against him.

“Yes, she can.” she agreed.

The friends pulled apart, and looked at each other reluctantly.

“I should go.” he said. “I have other farewells to make.”

“I know.” And she smiled sadly. “The guild is going to miss you.”

“The mages in particular.” he laughed, and she nodded in agreement. “Naaru watch over you, Kamineh – be safe in your work in Shadowmoon Valley.”

“May the Naaru bless you – and yours.” The slight pause was for emphasis, and he caressed her cheek again.

“Goodbye.”

* * * * *  
The circle was set, the fires ready to burn. In the intricately patterned designs his worldly effects awaited him, and he added his last piece of armour to the pile, standing free to the wind, unencumbered by artificial weavings.

He had chosen a quiet corner of Azuremyst to enact this ritual, but it really might have been anywhere. It would take him through the Twisting Nether to where her soul resided. He knew it was imprecise; in fact, it was downright foolhardy. If she was dead, he might end up with her, forever locked in that limbo. But there was nothing else for it. Deep in himself he knew he had to try, to redeem himself, to fill the void inside him once again, to simply know what had happened.

He remembered the loss he'd felt when he'd been resurrected, the Argent Dawn soldiers unable to account for her body. He had known at that moment she had been taken, and the thought of what that might mean had nearly crushed him. They were in Scourge territory, and not far from the haunts of the Forsaken. He had heard whispers of the experiments both enacted on the humans they managed to capture, and his mind cringed from what might have been done to his Aninae.

He wasn't crushed. He would find her, and bring her back to safety. This he vowed, no matter the cost.

He lit the fire and presented himself to the spirits, beginning his chant as he inhaled deeply of the herb laced smoke. Then he began to dance.

* * * * *  
Interlude 3

Pain. Her blood was on fire, seething throughout her body, but she couldn't scream. There was nothing she could do but feel it as it raced through her, burning her to the last synapse and nerve ending. Against her skin the air was cool, almost damp, but it brought no ease from the fire she felt. And something was in her mind, picking and choosing through her memories as she lay paralysed in agony, something that chuckled and mocked as she tried to shut it out.

_“Do you think you can stop me?”_ it laughed and she would have cried if she could.

There was no easement, her flesh was burning away, her organs melting and pooling in her feet and her mind was wide open, the new presence within it trampling through her most precious self. She was in blackness, though pain flared red behind her eyelids.

It took all her will, all her self, but she forced an image of cold to her mind, one small piece of winter to hold on to, to cool her boiling blood. And she felt herself ease, her body cooling, her flesh cooling, congealing once more, and she groaned as agony faded to a residual burn.

_“Very good. You might earn your name back yet.”_

And she was released, almost falling to the floor. Yet she managed to get to her feet, standing before her bier, only dimly aware that she was wearing a long robe of pure black metal. She began to wonder at this before something clamped down in her mind and she was forced to turn.

_“Face me.”_

And she did, walking out to the balcony where a massive figure stood, malice and hatred emanating from him in cold waves. A part of her cowered to see it, screaming in the back of her mind, but another part exulted as the figure spoke and she realised what she now was.

_“All that I am: anger, cruelty, vengeance - I bestow upon you, my chosen knight. I have granted you immortality so that you may herald in a new, dark age for the Scourge...”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got this far and have read all of this, you may have the sense you read this before. It's entirely possible, as I am an admitted noobie on AO3 and initially posted this as a series instead of a chaptered work. After being not so subtly called out for it, I've fixed my error.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. This was the first thing I had written in a long time, way back in 2007.


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